Relaxed Gym-goer Gifts

'His workout regimen consists of 50 sit-downs every day.'

"Do you guys serve beer?"

"Today we'll be performing some much needed maintenance on Miss Trimbles weak pelvic floor."

"Exercise ball? No thanks, I'm growing my own."

'If you exercise you add 10 years to your life.' - 'But I would spend the 10 years exercising.'

"Uh-oh. My inner GPS is recalculating."

"We hang like this for the incredible ab workout."

Where Skim Milk comes from.

'I just don't feel I'm getting anywhere.'

Sleepwalker on treadmill

Bench Press Accident

"O.K. you're ready to go on to the less embarrassing weights."

"We're exclusively delts."

'Every new year Gym membership goes up - for the Panto season.'

"I'd like to start the 'Wellness at Work' training by offering you some guidance on diet and exercise."

Woman walks her dog on a running machine.

"I put the speed on reckless. . ."

"I have to get down to 125 pounds before I go back to my real gym."

"All those years of diversity training, seminars and research papers to shred the idea of male superiority....When all we really needed...was for them to train like the Lionesses for 20 minutes."

Keep Fit.

"Well, that will never be a yoga pose."

'You don't have the muscles to buy a muscle car, dear.'

Ian McWit, Attorney at Law, Body by Joe's Gym, Mind by Harvard.

After working out in the congressional gym, I feel like a lean, mean, legislating machine.

John liked to involve his pet snake in his keep-fit programme.

"This is Chance. When he first came here he was a fat Chance. Now he's a slim Chance."

"Slowly begin to reawaken the body with thoughts of unread E-mails, piles of dirty laundry, and the kids you have to pick up from school."

Yoga for beginners,

'What, you afraid of a little exercise?'