Quirky Gym-goer Gifts

John liked to involve his pet snake in his keep-fit programme.

Sleepwalker on treadmill

'It's the newest fitness craze. It's called 'tie bow'.'

"Do you guys serve beer?"

Yoga for Alcoholics

"Today we'll be performing some much needed maintenance on Miss Trimbles weak pelvic floor."

"Exercise ball? No thanks, I'm growing my own."

Bench Press Accident

"Uh-oh. My inner GPS is recalculating."

'I just don't feel I'm getting anywhere.'

"We're exclusively delts."

"We hang like this for the incredible ab workout."

"O.K. you're ready to go on to the less embarrassing weights."

Where Skim Milk comes from.

'If you exercise you add 10 years to your life.' - 'But I would spend the 10 years exercising.'

"I'd like to start the 'Wellness at Work' training by offering you some guidance on diet and exercise."

Woman walks her dog on a running machine.

'Every new year Gym membership goes up - for the Panto season.'

Executive gym with briefcases for weights.

Still Life With Nordic Track

Keep Fit.

"All those years of diversity training, seminars and research papers to shred the idea of male superiority....When all we really needed...was for them to train like the Lionesses for 20 minutes."

I have been working so hard I haven't gone to the gym in ages. You've been trying to make ends meet and forgot about the middle!

"Well, that will never be a yoga pose."

'You don't have the muscles to buy a muscle car, dear.'

"That's Arnie, our resident meeting moth. He doesn't have an office... Just flits all day from one meeting to another. And be careful: he's got a thing for wool!"

"This is Chance. When he first came here he was a fat Chance. Now he's a slim Chance."

How to go form fit to fat...

Ian McWit, Attorney at Law, Body by Joe's Gym, Mind by Harvard.

After working out in the congressional gym, I feel like a lean, mean, legislating machine.

Yoga for beginners,

'What, you afraid of a little exercise?'

'You have to start exercising. Running your mouth, skipping lunch and jumping to conclusions won't help you tone up and lose weight.'

'Checkmate!'

"Keep goin', Harry. No pain, no gain!"