Quirky Gym-goer Gifts

John liked to involve his pet snake in his keep-fit programme.

Sleepwalker on treadmill

'It's the newest fitness craze. It's called 'tie bow'.'

"Do you guys serve beer?"

Yoga for Alcoholics

"Today we'll be performing some much needed maintenance on Miss Trimbles weak pelvic floor."

"Exercise ball? No thanks, I'm growing my own."

"We hang like this for the incredible ab workout."

Where Skim Milk comes from.

"Uh-oh. My inner GPS is recalculating."

"We're exclusively delts."

"O.K. you're ready to go on to the less embarrassing weights."

'If you exercise you add 10 years to your life.' - 'But I would spend the 10 years exercising.'

Bench Press Accident

'I just don't feel I'm getting anywhere.'

Woman walks her dog on a running machine.

Executive gym with briefcases for weights.

'Every new year Gym membership goes up - for the Panto season.'

"I'd like to start the 'Wellness at Work' training by offering you some guidance on diet and exercise."

"All those years of diversity training, seminars and research papers to shred the idea of male superiority....When all we really needed...was for them to train like the Lionesses for 20 minutes."

"Well, that will never be a yoga pose."

Keep Fit.

'You don't have the muscles to buy a muscle car, dear.'

"That's Arnie, our resident meeting moth. He doesn't have an office... Just flits all day from one meeting to another. And be careful: he's got a thing for wool!"

After working out in the congressional gym, I feel like a lean, mean, legislating machine.

Ian McWit, Attorney at Law, Body by Joe's Gym, Mind by Harvard.

"This is Chance. When he first came here he was a fat Chance. Now he's a slim Chance."

Yoga for beginners,

'What, you afraid of a little exercise?'

'Checkmate!'

'You have to start exercising. Running your mouth, skipping lunch and jumping to conclusions won't help you tone up and lose weight.'

James's Mayfair Gym - Punting Machine.

Hello-BUNS OF STEEL?

"Keep goin', Harry. No pain, no gain!"