Casual Gym-goer Gifts

Banana Yoga

'Crunches aren't exercise -- crunching is what I do to fit into my jeans.'

"I'm going to start working out when they make an activity tracker that fits my wrist."

"Do you guys serve beer?"

"Today we'll be performing some much needed maintenance on Miss Trimbles weak pelvic floor."

"Exercise ball? No thanks, I'm growing my own."

Bench Press Accident

"Uh-oh. My inner GPS is recalculating."

Sleepwalker on treadmill

'I just don't feel I'm getting anywhere.'

"We're exclusively delts."

"O.K. you're ready to go on to the less embarrassing weights."

"We hang like this for the incredible ab workout."

Where Skim Milk comes from.

"I work out in preparation for being out of shape for the next 30 years."

'If you exercise you add 10 years to your life.' - 'But I would spend the 10 years exercising.'

'His workout regimen consists of 50 sit-downs every day.'

'Every new year Gym membership goes up - for the Panto season.'

"I'd like to start the 'Wellness at Work' training by offering you some guidance on diet and exercise."

Woman walks her dog on a running machine.

'Two hundred and nineteen.'

"Well, that will never be a yoga pose."

I have been working so hard I haven't gone to the gym in ages. You've been trying to make ends meet and forgot about the middle!

"All those years of diversity training, seminars and research papers to shred the idea of male superiority....When all we really needed...was for them to train like the Lionesses for 20 minutes."

Keep Fit.

Working out in the gym,

'You don't have the muscles to buy a muscle car, dear.'

Ian McWit, Attorney at Law, Body by Joe's Gym, Mind by Harvard.

"This is Chance. When he first came here he was a fat Chance. Now he's a slim Chance."

John liked to involve his pet snake in his keep-fit programme.

How to go form fit to fat...

After working out in the congressional gym, I feel like a lean, mean, legislating machine.

Yoga for beginners,

'What, you afraid of a little exercise?'

'You have to start exercising. Running your mouth, skipping lunch and jumping to conclusions won't help you tone up and lose weight.'