Casual Gym-goer Gifts

Banana Yoga

'Crunches aren't exercise -- crunching is what I do to fit into my jeans.'

"I'm going to start working out when they make an activity tracker that fits my wrist."

"Do you guys serve beer?"

"Today we'll be performing some much needed maintenance on Miss Trimbles weak pelvic floor."

"Exercise ball? No thanks, I'm growing my own."

'If you exercise you add 10 years to your life.' - 'But I would spend the 10 years exercising.'

"We're exclusively delts."

"Uh-oh. My inner GPS is recalculating."

"We hang like this for the incredible ab workout."

Where Skim Milk comes from.

'I just don't feel I'm getting anywhere.'

Bench Press Accident

"I work out in preparation for being out of shape for the next 30 years."

Sleepwalker on treadmill

"O.K. you're ready to go on to the less embarrassing weights."

'His workout regimen consists of 50 sit-downs every day.'

'Every new year Gym membership goes up - for the Panto season.'

Woman walks her dog on a running machine.

"I'd like to start the 'Wellness at Work' training by offering you some guidance on diet and exercise."

'Two hundred and nineteen.'

"Well, that will never be a yoga pose."

Keep Fit.

"All those years of diversity training, seminars and research papers to shred the idea of male superiority....When all we really needed...was for them to train like the Lionesses for 20 minutes."

'You don't have the muscles to buy a muscle car, dear.'

"This is Chance. When he first came here he was a fat Chance. Now he's a slim Chance."

After working out in the congressional gym, I feel like a lean, mean, legislating machine.

John liked to involve his pet snake in his keep-fit programme.

Ian McWit, Attorney at Law, Body by Joe's Gym, Mind by Harvard.

Yoga for beginners,

'What, you afraid of a little exercise?'

'You have to start exercising. Running your mouth, skipping lunch and jumping to conclusions won't help you tone up and lose weight.'

'He's very particular about how far we walk.'

'Checkmate!'

Hello-BUNS OF STEEL?