Relativity Joker Gifts

'Does My Bum Look Big In This Dimension?'

Jurassic Parking Lot

Intelligent people laugh too!

'Things have really livened up down there since You introduced SEXUAL reproduction.'

The difference between cosmology and cosmetology.

"And on the eighth day, God sat back with a scotch and soda and waited for the critical reviews."

"An un-observed universe ceases to exist. Yeah right!"

"Ooh look Derek. A shooting star. Quick make a wish"

"That's an awfully large small intestine and an awfully small large intestine."

"Walking erect is very trendy now."

"Is it true Dad...is the Earth really made of bleu cheese?"

"Would you rather get hit by a racket or chewed by a dog?"

"I wish we were just called T-Rex..."

Pole Star

'Can you believe it? - The doofus doesn't know whether this is the Alpha Quadrant or not!'

Farmer chasing alien leaving crop circles.

Veloci-Rapper

'You can come out, Marmaduke. I was just kidding about putting lipstick on you.'

'Did you check the glove compartment? -- maybe you left the keys in there.'

E=Emcee Squared

Solar Gain: "Be honest: does the new planet make me look fat?"

"Your next pilgrimage must be to a bodega for milk."

"Harold, stop sucking in your stomach when the girls walk by. You're going to hurt yourself."

Astronaut sees cell tower on the moon.

"So a horse has 6 legs, forelegs at the front and 2 at the back?"

'Moses, you'd better be in that bathtub!!'

'He wanted to be remembered this way.'

"It's me, Lucky—you can drop the best-friend shtick."

"We could have a shoot-out, then brunch."

"I did warn you about doing that, Gorak. . ."

"And on the seventh day, God 'choked,' and all hell broke loose."

Adult Absence Notes.

"Dad, if there's a plot to the universe, can you see any spoilers?"

Party Schools...

Climbing to the moon