Relationship Warriors Pillows

"Is there room for me?"

"Even after all these years, you can still make me laughso hard I pee my pants...of course, I dod that when I sneeze, too!"

'I have rather a full schedule today. Could you summarize your grievances of the past 48 years?'

"Zoom says we have connectivity issues..."

"On reflection I don't think the doctor was very good for our relationship."

"They met in the express-checkout lane at the A.&P. and have slowed down only occasionally ever since."

She - Interpreter - He.

Sulk Shows

'Your wife says you act like a fool. I thought you said she never pays attention to you.'

"Dammit Harold, you know I hate that mask!"

"You kept me awake all night, grinding your gums."

"I fell in love with her. Then she mutated."

"Marriage is driving me crazy and she's my designated driver!"

Couple

"Could you speak a little louder? I'm recording this."

"That's for staying married for thirty-five years to a difficult woman."

"He can never take anything serious. Everything's a joke."

Competitiveness in Ancient Times

"I got over DDT, and I'll get over you!"

Attack of the 65 - Inch Woman

'It's always about you isn't it, George? Wouldn't you like to hear about the terrible day I've had for a change?'

"My seven-year-old is a prince, but my forty-seven-year-old is a pain in the ass."

'Whenever he feels under attack, he calls for backup.'

'I know you love her and want to protect her. But it's wrong to laminate her.'

Diplomacy

Mixed Marriage: Downhill Racer.

"You always insist on having the last word!" "Sorry!"

"He's fluent in 24 computer languages and never says a bloody word to me."

A man forming a heart symbol with his hands

"Of course I'm sorry for whatever it is I'm supposed to have done."

"By the time we can marry in all fifty states, we'll probably be divorced."

"Yeah, well it hurts when you stab me with your words."

"Look, if it wasn’t me and it wasn’t you, who was doing all the snoring?!"

"Lactose started it, but now it's mainly me she can't tolerate. . ."

"It's time to bring in the wax begonias and your mother."