Relationship Troubleshooter Pillows

'Well, if I'm being honest, I think he's a raging narcissist.'

'I still don't understand darling. What are you trying to say?'

'You remember my husband, Geoff. He represented you in that messy divorce settlement of ours.'

"Clothes on the lawn. Is that easier to interpret than an email?"

"... And don't worry dear. I won't be biased towards him, just because he's my son in law."

'This is just a temporary arrangement. My husband and I are currently having a disagreement.'

'I hate to tell you this John, but I saw your Julie having text with someone else.'

Big Brother. 'No you can't have her evicted'.

'David, can't you speak for yourself?'

"Should we halfheartedly try to relate?"

"He is back to 'his old self', that's the problem!"

"What'd I say?"

"I sold his unlisted phone number to telemarketers."

"I can't deal with your fear and paranoia."

In the Guru District

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

'My understanding of psychiatry is that women fantasiss and men internalise - in fact I'd like to internalise right now.'

'Charlie is the first to admit that he's too old for me.'

"Why don't you find a museum!"

"I feel we haven't moved beyond parallel play."

"We'll always have couples therapy."

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

"No, I really DO love you. It's just that my committee has some issues."

Couples' therapy

"I've switched my energy provider, and I switched my broadband provider. Now I want to switch my misery provider."

"You've reached Randy the love doctor. What ails you?"

"Is that true, Charles? You leave your crap all over the house?"

'Great Therapy!'

"What's going on Jen? Why didn't you respond to my kissing emoji?"

Tunnel of Love/Tunnel of Marriage

"She wanted to go to the beach. I wanted to golf."

"You never told me your dad was so delightfully old-fashioned."

"Yeah. But he's a handful."

"Even though I wasn't always perfect, I feel deep down that I am now."