Relationship Trouble Solver Pillows

'You say your wife doesn't understand you? Here's my card. Call my secretary for an appointment and we'll talk about it. I'm a psychiatrist.'

"You've reached Randy the love doctor. What ails you?"

"She said, 'I'll go if you go,' and I said, 'I'll go if you go,' and here we are."

"I seek enlightenment - and a way to outsource our company's tech support."

'Sir, the company's had another successful month treading water.'

"I don't know whether to love you or leave you - but then that's the reality of arbitrage."

Couple beyond prayer - need divine intervention.

'So...worked in 'IT' long?'

'Miss Johnson, would you mind ordering me another computer? And you can cancel that call to tech-support.'

You have 10 updates, 6 slow your PC down, 3 look very dodgy, 1 randomly changes all your PC settings!

"This isn't working. We have nothing in common."

"Helen, is it possible that we are using our child as an intimacy barrier?"

'First, you have to stop treating your husband like a child.'

Ereptile Dysfunction

"No heroic measures."

"When did you first notice your wife was missing?"

'David, can't you speak for yourself?'

'Choose, Fenwick ? me or corporatge clout.'

"I was looking for an employee who could lift our profits... then I met a frog who said 'Kiss me'!"

"I'm starting to believe that this relationship was doomed from the start...!"

Maybe I was wrong?

"Brad, if you can't say 'I love you' without using finger quotes, I'm outta here."

"I need you, Roberta. Deep inside me there's a married man aching to get out."

'Ever since we bought thet blasted water bed we've been drifting apart!'

"Whoops - the server's gone down again!"

"I'm sorry darling, did I just say, 'I hate you with every micro-fiber of my being'?"

'I didn't even know she was angry until she started shooting.'

'Well, if I'm being honest, I think he's a raging narcissist.'

Man looks for wife help from machine.

"Yeah? Well, I sentence you to death!"

"My dating life has come down to choosing between bad breath and bad credit."

"I've had a terrible quarrel with the missus. . . mind if I crash here tonight?"

"Well, Martha, I certainly hope your Scrabble victories keep you warm at night!"