Relationship Trouble Solver Prints

'You say your wife doesn't understand you? Here's my card. Call my secretary for an appointment and we'll talk about it. I'm a psychiatrist.'

"You've reached Randy the love doctor. What ails you?"

"I seek enlightenment - and a way to outsource our company's tech support."

"She said, 'I'll go if you go,' and I said, 'I'll go if you go,' and here we are."

'Sir, the company's had another successful month treading water.'

"I don't know whether to love you or leave you - but then that's the reality of arbitrage."

'So...worked in 'IT' long?'

Couple beyond prayer - need divine intervention.

'Miss Johnson, would you mind ordering me another computer? And you can cancel that call to tech-support.'

"This isn't working. We have nothing in common."

You have 10 updates, 6 slow your PC down, 3 look very dodgy, 1 randomly changes all your PC settings!

"Helen, is it possible that we are using our child as an intimacy barrier?"

'David, can't you speak for yourself?'

'First, you have to stop treating your husband like a child.'

"I mean it this time Brian, it's either me or the jazz!"

Ereptile Dysfunction

"My wife is constantly invading my personal space. I think she gets it from her family."

"No heroic measures."

"When did you first notice your wife was missing?"

'You have to learn to communicate and share your feelings. Open Twitter accounts.'

'Choose, Fenwick ? me or corporatge clout.'

"Brad, if you can't say 'I love you' without using finger quotes, I'm outta here."

"I need you, Roberta. Deep inside me there's a married man aching to get out."

"Whoops - the server's gone down again!"

"I was looking for an employee who could lift our profits... then I met a frog who said 'Kiss me'!"

'Ever since we bought thet blasted water bed we've been drifting apart!'

"I'm starting to believe that this relationship was doomed from the start...!"

Maybe I was wrong?

"I'm sorry darling, did I just say, 'I hate you with every micro-fiber of my being'?"

'I didn't even know she was angry until she started shooting.'

'Well, if I'm being honest, I think he's a raging narcissist.'

Man looks for wife help from machine.

"Well, Martha, I certainly hope your Scrabble victories keep you warm at night!"

"I've had a terrible quarrel with the missus. . . mind if I crash here tonight?"

"Full moons were a problem but it's gotten a lot calmer since we installed the doggy door."