Relationship Solver Pillows

'He promised that he'd never look at another woman, and last night I caught him waching Paula Zahn on television!'

"Instead of paying me compliments, he gives me I.O.U.'s!"

Albert Einstein

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

'My understanding of psychiatry is that women fantasiss and men internalise - in fact I'd like to internalise right now.'

'Charlie is the first to admit that he's too old for me.'

"Why don't you find a museum!"

"I feel we haven't moved beyond parallel play."

"If i were to kiss you then there is a 17% probability that we might get married and that has a 24% likelihood that we'd have children with a 34% change of divorce...I'm not sure I can risk it."

"You've reached Randy the love doctor. What ails you?"

Tunnel of Love/Tunnel of Marriage

'And what part of the formula don't you understand?'

Battle of the sexes in a relationship

'When we first met there was a chemistry between us. These days though, it's more of a 'chemistry set'.'

"Even though I wasn't always perfect, I feel deep down that I am now."

"You never told me your dad was so delightfully old-fashioned."

'Unemployed math grad. Will solve quadratic equations for food."

"I'm Albert, your new mathematics teacher, but you can call me Al."

'The way we met was interesting. I opened my wallet and there she was!'

'Trust me, she can't fail to notice you now...'

"I feel like I don’t even know my own husband ... and it’s driving me wild!"

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

'For pete's sake Walter!! Enough with the tail, I can't read your writing!!'

I'm your girlfriend and best friend so I get twice as many slices

"This is just SO like him. For years, I begged him to straighten up and fly right, and when he finally DID, it was right into a picture window!"

"If I'm such a poor risk, how did I get so deep into debt?"

Heart to heart talk.

"Arthur, I need my space."

"Yes, he was very nice, Mom, but he had to cut the date short because it was... 'report card time'!"

'We need to talk about your fear of commitment, Ralph.'

"She said, 'I'll go if you go,' and I said, 'I'll go if you go,' and here we are."

"Frank, I want you to try antidepressants."

Protoplasm

"Why can’t this count as ‘date night’?"

Waterfall of Disappointment