Relationship Solver Gifts

'He promised that he'd never look at another woman, and last night I caught him waching Paula Zahn on television!'

"Instead of paying me compliments, he gives me I.O.U.'s!"

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

'My understanding of psychiatry is that women fantasiss and men internalise - in fact I'd like to internalise right now.'

'Charlie is the first to admit that he's too old for me.'

"Why don't you find a museum!"

"I feel we haven't moved beyond parallel play."

"If i were to kiss you then there is a 17% probability that we might get married and that has a 24% likelihood that we'd have children with a 34% change of divorce...I'm not sure I can risk it."

"You've reached Randy the love doctor. What ails you?"

Tunnel of Love/Tunnel of Marriage

'And what part of the formula don't you understand?'

"Even though I wasn't always perfect, I feel deep down that I am now."

"You never told me your dad was so delightfully old-fashioned."

'When we first met there was a chemistry between us. These days though, it's more of a 'chemistry set'.'

Battle of the sexes in a relationship

'Unemployed math grad. Will solve quadratic equations for food."

'The way we met was interesting. I opened my wallet and there she was!'

"I'm Albert, your new mathematics teacher, but you can call me Al."

'Trust me, she can't fail to notice you now...'

I'm your girlfriend and best friend so I get twice as many slices

"This is just SO like him. For years, I begged him to straighten up and fly right, and when he finally DID, it was right into a picture window!"

'For pete's sake Walter!! Enough with the tail, I can't read your writing!!'

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

"I feel like I don’t even know my own husband ... and it’s driving me wild!"

"If I'm such a poor risk, how did I get so deep into debt?"

Protoplasm

"Why can’t this count as ‘date night’?"

"She said, 'I'll go if you go,' and I said, 'I'll go if you go,' and here we are."

"Arthur, I need my space."

"Yes, he was very nice, Mom, but he had to cut the date short because it was... 'report card time'!"

"Frank, I want you to try antidepressants."

Heart to heart talk.

'We need to talk about your fear of commitment, Ralph.'

Waterfall of Disappointment

Strangers. Friends. Lovers. Spouses.