Relationship Analyzers Pillows

"Because he lets me treat him like a cash machine!"

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

'Charlie is the first to admit that he's too old for me.'

'My understanding of psychiatry is that women fantasiss and men internalise - in fact I'd like to internalise right now.'

"I feel we haven't moved beyond parallel play."

"Why don't you find a museum!"

"If i were to kiss you then there is a 17% probability that we might get married and that has a 24% likelihood that we'd have children with a 34% change of divorce...I'm not sure I can risk it."

Tunnel of Love/Tunnel of Marriage

'The bad news is you're going to marry a geek, and not a pro athlete. The good news is the geek owns the team.'

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

Battle of the sexes in a relationship

"Even though I wasn't always perfect, I feel deep down that I am now."

'When we first met there was a chemistry between us. These days though, it's more of a 'chemistry set'.'

"You never told me your dad was so delightfully old-fashioned."

"And there was I thinking you'd been Beta tested."

"I may be obsessive and I may be compulsive, but no way am I obsessive compulsive."

'The way we met was interesting. I opened my wallet and there she was!'

"This is just SO like him. For years, I begged him to straighten up and fly right, and when he finally DID, it was right into a picture window!"

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

Awkward First Dates

'Trust me, she can't fail to notice you now...'

"So, how are we doing with our trust issues?"

"Men can keep a secret, but it takes a woman to tell them that it was supposed to be a secret!"

"I feel like I don’t even know my own husband ... and it’s driving me wild!"

'Don't worry, Alice. I won't leave you.'

I asked my girlfriend if there was someone else...

"She said, 'I'll go if you go,' and I said, 'I'll go if you go,' and here we are."

"Why can’t this count as ‘date night’?"

"I'll probably die an old woman before I get that bedtime story."

(Diamonds shining, … Dancing, dining, …with some man in a restaurant. Is that all you really want?) (Are you making this up?) (Unsophisticated Lady)

"Arthur, I need my space."

'We need to talk about your fear of commitment, Ralph.'

'At last, the newly discovered films of Woody Alien.'

Relationships.

Sharing the Bed with Zeno