The Relationship Analyst Pillows

'I don't know much about Art, but i can tell you all about his wife.'

Try Mediation

Window Treatment

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

'The bad news is you're going to marry a geek, and not a pro athlete. The good news is the geek owns the team.'

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

"And there was I thinking you'd been Beta tested."

"Even though I wasn't always perfect, I feel deep down that I am now."

"I may be obsessive and I may be compulsive, but no way am I obsessive compulsive."

'It's been years since she sang my praises.'

"She married and then divorced, and then she married and divorced, and then she married and lived happily ever after."

"Men can keep a secret, but it takes a woman to tell them that it was supposed to be a secret!"

Awkward First Dates

"My computer just texted me."

Talk shows are great. Listen shows are even better.

"Hey. Whatever happened to our sexual relations? "

"It's nothing, go back to sleep. I was just getting a DNA sample."

Hollywood Breakup

I asked my girlfriend if there was someone else...

'At last, the newly discovered films of Woody Alien.'

"...and do you agree to accept him as he is, and not try to change him?"

"I'll probably die an old woman before I get that bedtime story."

Sharing the Bed with Zeno

'Harlow, why can't you be passionate like Mel Gibson?'

Relationships.

"I'm ready to go whenever you're through fussing with tablescapes."

"I didn't mean your day wasn't hard, too."

"Oh darling! I just got your wonderful value added proposition! Of course I'll marry you!"

"I've had you appraised."

'Edwards... Tamano... this isn't what I had in mind when I sent you two out on the company retreat.'

"She's got money and he's a 'poet'."

"She said that she's against combing marriage with a career....so I quit my job."

"I miss the way it was when I thought you knew everything."

'I know a lot of wives let themselves go when they're married- but AFTER the reception?'