Relationship Dynamics Analyst Pillows

'Mismatched Mantras'

"Pass the salt, pass the salt - what am I, your slave?"

"With my money and my looks, we could — wait a minute ... I don’t need you!"

"My wife and I handle our own finances. I'm an accountant and she's a grief counselor."

"What's wrong dear? I haven't heard a single complaint out of you all morning."

"....oh yeh, and happy birthday!"

'That's a bit of a sweeping statement.'

Hers, His, and His Ego Bath Towels.

"I read your report with interest, Giles, and I think we're in a position to agree a date/"

"Why don't you ever put your hand on my knee?"

"Evidence suggests she was working on the puzzle, got up to make tea, husband enters and puts last piece in..."

"Remember that time you tried to kill me?"

'The bad news is you're going to marry a geek, and not a pro athlete. The good news is the geek owns the team.'

"The TV remote? So, I decide what we watch tonight?"

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

"My monthly screen time went up from 62 hours to ‘Holy #@!*’."

"And there was I thinking you'd been Beta tested."

'Men order. . . women shop.'

"Even though I wasn't always perfect, I feel deep down that I am now."

Andy Oxidant meets Free Radical.

"I may be obsessive and I may be compulsive, but no way am I obsessive compulsive."

"And remember, woman... I'm the one who wears the sassy pastel yellow toreador pants in the family!"

"My wife has always encouraged me... ...to quit this stupid dream and get a real job." ... "You have a wife?"

Awkward First Dates

"What's so wrong with always living in the present?"

"Hey. Whatever happened to our sexual relations? "

'Charles, you're carrying this 'king of the castle' business too far!'

"Men can keep a secret, but it takes a woman to tell them that it was supposed to be a secret!"

I asked my girlfriend if there was someone else...

'At last, the newly discovered films of Woody Alien.'

Relationships.

'We just don't talk anymore, Gerald!'

Sharing the Bed with Zeno

"I'll probably die an old woman before I get that bedtime story."

"It's nothing, go back to sleep. I was just getting a DNA sample."