Relationship Analyzers T-Shirts

"Because he lets me treat him like a cash machine!"

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

'Charlie is the first to admit that he's too old for me.'

'My understanding of psychiatry is that women fantasiss and men internalise - in fact I'd like to internalise right now.'

"I feel we haven't moved beyond parallel play."

"Why don't you find a museum!"

"If i were to kiss you then there is a 17% probability that we might get married and that has a 24% likelihood that we'd have children with a 34% change of divorce...I'm not sure I can risk it."

'The bad news is you're going to marry a geek, and not a pro athlete. The good news is the geek owns the team.'

Tunnel of Love/Tunnel of Marriage

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

'When we first met there was a chemistry between us. These days though, it's more of a 'chemistry set'.'

"Even though I wasn't always perfect, I feel deep down that I am now."

"You never told me your dad was so delightfully old-fashioned."

Battle of the sexes in a relationship

"And there was I thinking you'd been Beta tested."

"I may be obsessive and I may be compulsive, but no way am I obsessive compulsive."

"Men can keep a secret, but it takes a woman to tell them that it was supposed to be a secret!"

"This is just SO like him. For years, I begged him to straighten up and fly right, and when he finally DID, it was right into a picture window!"

'The way we met was interesting. I opened my wallet and there she was!'

Awkward First Dates

'Trust me, she can't fail to notice you now...'

"I feel like I don’t even know my own husband ... and it’s driving me wild!"

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

'Don't worry, Alice. I won't leave you.'

'We need to talk about your fear of commitment, Ralph.'

"Arthur, I need my space."

I asked my girlfriend if there was someone else...

"Why can’t this count as ‘date night’?"

'At last, the newly discovered films of Woody Alien.'

Relationships.

Sharing the Bed with Zeno

"I'll probably die an old woman before I get that bedtime story."

"Yes, he was very nice, Mom, but he had to cut the date short because it was... 'report card time'!"

Heart to heart talk.