Relationship Analyst T-Shirts

"Now, just to review, at the last faculty meeting we established that Marcia hates Fred, Fred hates Carol and Marcia, Carol really can't stand Larry, Larry despises me, and I hate Larry, Marcia, Fred and Penny."

The Emergence Of Language

Must you always be so negative?

'It's the antitrust commission dear, they say we have to get divorced!'

"Would you have liked any help?"

'Don and I rarely fight. Then again, we rarely talk.'

'Tell me your side of the story. I already know the truth.'

"If you really want to know why I'm dumping you, you may want to check out my website where there's a long detailed explanation posted."

'Rate me on a scale of one to ten!' 'Can I use fractions?'

'How come when you're right it's female intuition and when I'm right it's dumb luck?'

Fight or Flight

'I feel very secure, but I should try to act a little more insecure.'

'Sure, men have feelings too - but who really cares.'

"So she left you. Maybe it wasn't your fault. Sometimes circumstances are beyond your lack of self-control."

'I had my accounting department run a cost-benefit analysis on you and I have some bad news.'

'How many times do I have to say I'm sorry?'

'And that, in a nutshell, is why men don't understand women.'

'I'm attracted to vulnerable men...especially if they're heavily insured.'

"I'm ready to go whenever you're through fussing with tablescapes."

"So I like rutting. So sue me."

"I need a more interactive you."

"Look, there is no right and wrong here, but I'm going to side with Helen because I'm a girl."

"But it will never work between us! Your primary concern is with the business and mine is with stakeholders!"

"I feel like we've grown apart."

'When, Janice? When did our marriage start to go downhill?'

"You're taking my blatant lies out of context."

'My marriage started out as a sitcom, developed into a soap opera, and then was cancelled.'

'Your resum? looks familiar, weren't we married once?'

'You CAN change a man, but then they divorce you, remarry and the new wife reaps all the benefits.'

"But what about all our refinancing plans?"

'Do you have a few minutes to take an important survey?'

"Richard, Mr. Chenolock, the insurance man, is here to determine your life expectancy."

Well it doesn't look like networking to me!

'And I thought she was high maintenance when we were married.'

'I give it six months max!'