Online Relationship Analyst T-Shirts

'Looks like I was wrong. Apparently I can have more loathing for this era...'

"If i were to kiss you then there is a 17% probability that we might get married and that has a 24% likelihood that we'd have children with a 34% change of divorce...I'm not sure I can risk it."

'The bad news is you're going to marry a geek, and not a pro athlete. The good news is the geek owns the team.'

"Is that true, Charles? You leave your crap all over the house?"

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

"And there was I thinking you'd been Beta tested."

"Even though I wasn't always perfect, I feel deep down that I am now."

"I may be obsessive and I may be compulsive, but no way am I obsessive compulsive."

Awkward First Dates

"Men can keep a secret, but it takes a woman to tell them that it was supposed to be a secret!"

'You've changed since we got married.'

Relationships.

Sharing the Bed with Zeno

"I'll probably die an old woman before I get that bedtime story."

I asked my girlfriend if there was someone else...

'At last, the newly discovered films of Woody Alien.'

'It took me years of training, but now he's my perfect man.'

"Ours will be the first mixed marriage in my family. Dog people NEVER marry cat people."

"It's nothing, go back to sleep. I was just getting a DNA sample."

"I'm ready to go whenever you're through fussing with tablescapes."

'We've been playing house for 5 minutes, and she's already nagging me to get a job.'

"Oh darling! I just got your wonderful value added proposition! Of course I'll marry you!"

"I've had you appraised."

"I miss the way it was when I thought you knew everything."

"My wife and I handle our own finances. I'm an accountant and she's a grief counselor."

"I've never, ever taken you for granted, Ingrid."

"She's got money and he's a 'poet'."

'I don't know about you, but he was really beginning to get on my nerves.'

"Remember that lovely couple of scarlet macaws we met in Puerto Jiménez? They split up!"

"I don't love you anymore, Barry, but I still think you're a great American."

"I'll give you my unconditional love - on one condition."

'Okay, we grew old together - Now what?'