Online Relationship Analyst Mugs

'Looks like I was wrong. Apparently I can have more loathing for this era...'

"If i were to kiss you then there is a 17% probability that we might get married and that has a 24% likelihood that we'd have children with a 34% change of divorce...I'm not sure I can risk it."

'The bad news is you're going to marry a geek, and not a pro athlete. The good news is the geek owns the team.'

"Is that true, Charles? You leave your crap all over the house?"

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

"And there was I thinking you'd been Beta tested."

"Even though I wasn't always perfect, I feel deep down that I am now."

"I may be obsessive and I may be compulsive, but no way am I obsessive compulsive."

Awkward First Dates

"Men can keep a secret, but it takes a woman to tell them that it was supposed to be a secret!"

"So, how are we doing with our trust issues?"

'Honestly! You really ought to see someone about that cough of yours.'

'You've changed since we got married.'

'She seems to think I only have one thing on my mind.'

I asked my girlfriend if there was someone else...

"Ours will be the first mixed marriage in my family. Dog people NEVER marry cat people."

'It took me years of training, but now he's my perfect man.'

Relationships.

Sharing the Bed with Zeno

"I'll probably die an old woman before I get that bedtime story."

(Diamonds shining, … Dancing, dining, …with some man in a restaurant. Is that all you really want?) (Are you making this up?) (Unsophisticated Lady)

'At last, the newly discovered films of Woody Alien.'

"It's nothing, go back to sleep. I was just getting a DNA sample."

'We've been playing house for 5 minutes, and she's already nagging me to get a job.'

"I'm ready to go whenever you're through fussing with tablescapes."

"Oh darling! I just got your wonderful value added proposition! Of course I'll marry you!"

"I've had you appraised."

'I don't know about you, but he was really beginning to get on my nerves.'

"I've never, ever taken you for granted, Ingrid."

"Remember that lovely couple of scarlet macaws we met in Puerto Jiménez? They split up!"

"I miss the way it was when I thought you knew everything."

"I'll give you my unconditional love - on one condition."

"My wife and I handle our own finances. I'm an accountant and she's a grief counselor."

"I don't love you anymore, Barry, but I still think you're a great American."

"She's got money and he's a 'poet'."