Relationship Analyzer Mugs

Narcissist's Love Triangle.

"And if I could just point your attention to the data here, I think you will see why your feelings are incorrect."

Man Locked in a Heart

"What do you mean, you didn't know I wanted a divorce? Don't you follow me on social media?"

"Alpha Male."

"Arrows won't work on him. Use a taser."

'What would you do if you five dates with the same chap and he never kissed you? I'd lie about it.'

'To be honest, the only reason I don't leave her is because she takes my penalty points on her licence.'

'I keep my wife under the bed.'

'You're too perfect, Lester - you're NOTHING to gossip about!'

HisHersMilkman's Towels.

'men have no idea how to take action.'

"You seem calm above the surface, but underneath I feel as if you're paddling like hell away from me."

'Of course I love her - but I'm not in love with her.'

"Even though I wasn't always perfect, I feel deep down that I am now."

"My wife doesn't understand me, Ginny. I'd like for you to not undertand me."

"Enough about me. Tell me about you in five words or less."

"I think my love for Brother Valentine is less than my love for anyone else in this world."

"'Incandescent' is how he thinks, but 'fluorescent' is what I want."

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

'My understanding of psychiatry is that women fantasiss and men internalise - in fact I'd like to internalise right now.'

'Charlie is the first to admit that he's too old for me.'

"I feel we haven't moved beyond parallel play."

"Why don't you find a museum!"

"If i were to kiss you then there is a 17% probability that we might get married and that has a 24% likelihood that we'd have children with a 34% change of divorce...I'm not sure I can risk it."

Tunnel of Love/Tunnel of Marriage

'The bad news is you're going to marry a geek, and not a pro athlete. The good news is the geek owns the team.'

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

"And there was I thinking you'd been Beta tested."

Battle of the sexes in a relationship

'When we first met there was a chemistry between us. These days though, it's more of a 'chemistry set'.'

"You never told me your dad was so delightfully old-fashioned."

"I may be obsessive and I may be compulsive, but no way am I obsessive compulsive."

"I feel like I don’t even know my own husband ... and it’s driving me wild!"

'Trust me, she can't fail to notice you now...'