Modern Relationship Analyst Mugs

"So you're mad at me...and you're happy to see me. This is one funky relationship."

'The bad news is you're going to marry a geek, and not a pro athlete. The good news is the geek owns the team.'

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

"Even though I wasn't always perfect, I feel deep down that I am now."

"And there was I thinking you'd been Beta tested."

"I may be obsessive and I may be compulsive, but no way am I obsessive compulsive."

Awkward First Dates

"So, how are we doing with our trust issues?"

"Men can keep a secret, but it takes a woman to tell them that it was supposed to be a secret!"

(Diamonds shining, … Dancing, dining, …with some man in a restaurant. Is that all you really want?) (Are you making this up?) (Unsophisticated Lady)

'At last, the newly discovered films of Woody Alien.'

"I'll probably die an old woman before I get that bedtime story."

I asked my girlfriend if there was someone else...

"It's nothing, go back to sleep. I was just getting a DNA sample."

Sharing the Bed with Zeno

Relationships.

Mobile phones and long distance relationships,

"I'm ready to go whenever you're through fussing with tablescapes."

"Oh darling! I just got your wonderful value added proposition! Of course I'll marry you!"

"I've had you appraised."

"I don't love you anymore, Barry, but I still think you're a great American."

"I'll give you my unconditional love - on one condition."

"I miss the way it was when I thought you knew everything."

"My wife and I handle our own finances. I'm an accountant and she's a grief counselor."

"She's got money and he's a 'poet'."

"Remember that lovely couple of scarlet macaws we met in Puerto Jiménez? They split up!"

'And that, in a nutshell, is why men don't understand women.'

"I need a more interactive you."

"You can't let the tick birds continue to define you."

"With Harry all options are on the table, including pointlessly looking for a job that doesn't exist for him anymore."

"Wait ... I always thought taking each other for granted was a good thing!"

"Don't even think about it."

"Will you sign a legally binding contract to get the state involved if you ever decide to leave me?"

The golfer apologized for all his affairs. The governor regrets all his affairs. So does the former presidential candidate. I don't get the abstinence until marriage idea. Shouldn't it be abstinence AFTER marriage?

"Are you uncomfortable discussing this because I'm a man or because I'm your husband?"