Relationship Analyst Gifts

"Now, just to review, at the last faculty meeting we established that Marcia hates Fred, Fred hates Carol and Marcia, Carol really can't stand Larry, Larry despises me, and I hate Larry, Marcia, Fred and Penny."

The Emergence Of Language

Must you always be so negative?

'It's the antitrust commission dear, they say we have to get divorced!'

'Don and I rarely fight. Then again, we rarely talk.'

'Tell me your side of the story. I already know the truth.'

"Would you have liked any help?"

'Rate me on a scale of one to ten!' 'Can I use fractions?'

"If you really want to know why I'm dumping you, you may want to check out my website where there's a long detailed explanation posted."

Fight or Flight

'I feel very secure, but I should try to act a little more insecure.'

'With him taking viagra and you taking prozac, I don't know what the problem could be...'

'How come when you're right it's female intuition and when I'm right it's dumb luck?'

'Sure, men have feelings too - but who really cares.'

'And that, in a nutshell, is why men don't understand women.'

'I had my accounting department run a cost-benefit analysis on you and I have some bad news.'

"So she left you. Maybe it wasn't your fault. Sometimes circumstances are beyond your lack of self-control."

'How many times do I have to say I'm sorry?'

"You're taking my blatant lies out of context."

'I've just realised where we went wrong.'

"I'm ready to go whenever you're through fussing with tablescapes."

"I feel like we've grown apart."

"Look, there is no right and wrong here, but I'm going to side with Helen because I'm a girl."

"But it will never work between us! Your primary concern is with the business and mine is with stakeholders!"

'When, Janice? When did our marriage start to go downhill?'

'I'm attracted to vulnerable men...especially if they're heavily insured.'

"So I like rutting. So sue me."

"I need a more interactive you."

"Richard, Mr. Chenolock, the insurance man, is here to determine your life expectancy."

'You CAN change a man, but then they divorce you, remarry and the new wife reaps all the benefits.'

"But what about all our refinancing plans?"

"You can't let the tick birds continue to define you."

'And I thought she was high maintenance when we were married.'

'I give it six months max!'

Well it doesn't look like networking to me!