Relationship Troubleshooter Gifts

'Well, if I'm being honest, I think he's a raging narcissist.'

'I still don't understand darling. What are you trying to say?'

'You remember my husband, Geoff. He represented you in that messy divorce settlement of ours.'

"I hear absence makes the heart grow fonder. Let's give it a whirl."

"Clothes on the lawn. Is that easier to interpret than an email?"

"... And don't worry dear. I won't be biased towards him, just because he's my son in law."

'This is just a temporary arrangement. My husband and I are currently having a disagreement.'

'I hate to tell you this John, but I saw your Julie having text with someone else.'

Big Brother. 'No you can't have her evicted'.

'David, can't you speak for yourself?'

"Should we halfheartedly try to relate?"

Marriage Counselors For Celebrities.

"He is back to 'his old self', that's the problem!"

Randy the Love Doctor. What ails you, brother? I'm in love with another man's wife and he found out. We're all supposed to go to the same party next week. But now that he knows

"What'd I say?"

"I sold his unlisted phone number to telemarketers."

"I can't deal with your fear and paranoia."

In the Guru District

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

'My understanding of psychiatry is that women fantasiss and men internalise - in fact I'd like to internalise right now.'

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

'Charlie is the first to admit that he's too old for me.'

"I feel we haven't moved beyond parallel play."

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

"We'll always have couples therapy."

"Why don't you find a museum!"

"No, I really DO love you. It's just that my committee has some issues."

Couples' therapy

"What's going on Jen? Why didn't you respond to my kissing emoji?"

"Is that true, Charles? You leave your crap all over the house?"

I want to rip out our lawn and plant a wild meadow. And I want lost of well-mown grass. What do you recommend? Nursery open. Just a sec. I'll check with my dad. No way! Tree's Tree Nursery. I'm not suggesting a marriage counselor!

"She wanted to go to the beach. I wanted to golf."

"I've switched my energy provider, and I switched my broadband provider. Now I want to switch my misery provider."

Tunnel of Love/Tunnel of Marriage

'Great Therapy!'