Relationship Reality Checker Gifts

"I am forsaking all others, but these things take time."

"Till death do us part? Hey, I thought this was just supposed to be a starter marriage!"

Man says to woman: 'No, I'm not the man you married ??" who the heck are you and how did you get into my kitchen?'

"Your husband is fooling around."

"And I said, 'I'm tired of you asking me what I'm thinking' and heeeeeer we are."

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

"Jackie, why does your relationship status read ‘capitulated to’ me?!"

'Charlie is the first to admit that he's too old for me.'

'My understanding of psychiatry is that women fantasiss and men internalise - in fact I'd like to internalise right now.'

"She's in a conversationally induced coma."

"Why don't you find a museum!"

"I feel we haven't moved beyond parallel play."

That may well be how the catalk models do it, but I still think you look like a three legged horse in a field of cowpats!

"If i were to kiss you then there is a 17% probability that we might get married and that has a 24% likelihood that we'd have children with a 34% change of divorce...I'm not sure I can risk it."

"The TV remote? So, I decide what we watch tonight?"

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

Tunnel of Love/Tunnel of Marriage

"This will be hilarious!"

The prying mantis,

"Even though I wasn't always perfect, I feel deep down that I am now."

"You never told me your dad was so delightfully old-fashioned."

'When we first met there was a chemistry between us. These days though, it's more of a 'chemistry set'.'

"We don't talk anymore."

Battle of the sexes in a relationship

"I feel like I don’t even know my own husband ... and it’s driving me wild!"

"This is just SO like him. For years, I begged him to straighten up and fly right, and when he finally DID, it was right into a picture window!"

'The way we met was interesting. I opened my wallet and there she was!'

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

'Trust me, she can't fail to notice you now...'

'Remember you told me to be friendly to your boss.'

'Since I met you I can't eat...I can't drink...I'm broke.'

"Yes, he was very nice, Mom, but he had to cut the date short because it was... 'report card time'!"

"Frank, I want you to try antidepressants."

Heart to heart talk.