Relationship Reality Check Enthusiast Gifts

"My orgasm was fake."

Relationship counselor: 'She started behaving strangely, and our man-machine interface has become unpredictable.'

"I don't know about you, but I'm ready to take this marriage full-throttle."

Paint pots in love

"We don't talk anymore."

Urns in love

(Man with 'BEFORE sign): 'My wife says I'm a work-in-progress.'

"I do like you, Peter, but interfacing is a very serious step."

"Take a look - that's us in ninety years."

"Maybe what she really wants you to do is rub her tummy."

"I'm not laughing at you, dear-I'm laughing with everyone but you."

' You're wonderful.' 'I know.'

'Here's to being in love, in a hurry, and in debt.'

An evening with Stanley Bucholtz, relationship MD,,,tonight: 'Just ONE evening,,,'

Tunnel of Love and the Tunnel of Mutual Respect and Admiration.

'Thou shall not covet the neighbours same sex partner.'

Hold on

Growing Love

Speech-bubble-head-boy loves think-bubble-head-girl.

"After two years of dating, we decided it was finally time to move in together."

'We've entered the 'password sharing' phase of our relationship!'

Love

What are you doing? You promised we'd watch it together!

'Relax babe, that's me before the operation,'

'Not an orgasm, just the bed springs, I'm afraid.'

"My wife - is she still staring at me?"

"Maybe I will and maybe I won't - You're not prejudiced against transvestites, are you?"

Going into the relationship, Tom knew Loretta was a package deal.

It's obvious anniversaries are the lynchpin of the big oil conspiracy. What? Husbands forget them. Which leads to wives pummeling them. Which leads to men making sure they don't forget again. All you had to do was mark it in your calendar! What do you think pens are made of? Pummeling will now commence.

"Too desperate?"

"I'm looking for a man who has an unwavering character, except when he's talking to me."

'Now then, let me explain the rules of this therapy.'

'Would you like a romantic table or are you married?'

"While you're at it, could you give him some pizzazz?"

"...as they may share in our joy.", "For we are all as one."