Reality Check Enthusiast Gifts

"Young people frequently feel elated, son. This is perfectly healthy as long as they keep in mind that there isn't any valid reason for it."

'Your tests came back. . . bad news. Not only did we find a lump, you are a lump. . .'

End of the Rainbow.

'And so they married and lived happily ever-after, until the bills started rolling in.'

"We only see what we want to see."

Hollywood Dad/Real Dad

This is the best part—the hero is still hopeful for something good, before he realizes it’s all bills.

Family Planning Workshop 1+1=3

'I think this whole 'travelling around the world giving gifts to all the children every year' thing is just for you to avoid spending Christmas with my mother!'

'Ruddy customers have NO idea of the costs power companies have to cover!'

"Starting at a new agency can be overwhelming. Let me show you around."

"This is the perfect way to watch movies if you love mosquitoes and having a cold, wet butt."

"Well, either you're hopelessly optimistic or hopelessly short-sighted."

Adam and Eve on a Talk Show

"Britain's Got Talent is now in its tenth astonishingly brilliant year!"

Admit it. We have a drinking problem.

'Everything is illusory? -- Even reality shows?'

School Career Choices: Celebrity chef, celebrity gardener,celebrity plumber, celebrity vet, celebrity painter & decorator. . .

Skeptic: Critical Thinking, Facts, Debunking.

"Not tonight. Margie wants to watch some guy deep fry a duck on cable."

America's funniest election gaffes

"Am I through to the next round?"

Rumours Online

'You're not being fired Jenkins. It's just that all our colleagues have booted you out of the company.'

"Have you ever given any thought to what you're going to do after all your hopes and dreams are crushed?"

There are dreams...And then there's reality...

'What a strange episode -- they just voted Ricardo Montalban off the island!'

Objects in mirror bear no relation to reality.

"I suppose we have Judge Judy to thank for all this."

'If you want a reality check, I'll have to see two pieces of I. D.'

'Welcome to Reputation Makeover! Tonight, my team and I will try to repair the tattered reputations of those appearing on other reality shows!'

Since I took command of the company, I have steered a steady course.

"This says you should expect to spend six months and at least $800 building the perfect lowrider bike."

"There's a programme about people watching TV on the other channel."

"We've managed to eliminate every problem except the public perception that we're heading in the wrong direction."