Reality Check Enthusiast Gifts

"Young people frequently feel elated, son. This is perfectly healthy as long as they keep in mind that there isn't any valid reason for it."

'Your tests came back. . . bad news. Not only did we find a lump, you are a lump. . .'

End of the Rainbow.

'And so they married and lived happily ever-after, until the bills started rolling in.'

"We only see what we want to see."

Hollywood Dad/Real Dad

Harsh Reality 25

Psychiatry. Wait a minute --- You want to put me in touch with which version of reality?

This is the best part—the hero is still hopeful for something good, before he realizes it’s all bills.

Family Planning Workshop 1+1=3

'I think this whole 'travelling around the world giving gifts to all the children every year' thing is just for you to avoid spending Christmas with my mother!'

'Ruddy customers have NO idea of the costs power companies have to cover!'

"Starting at a new agency can be overwhelming. Let me show you around."

"This is the perfect way to watch movies if you love mosquitoes and having a cold, wet butt."

"Well, either you're hopelessly optimistic or hopelessly short-sighted."

Adam and Eve on a Talk Show

'Everything is illusory? -- Even reality shows?'

School Career Choices: Celebrity chef, celebrity gardener,celebrity plumber, celebrity vet, celebrity painter & decorator. . .

"Britain's Got Talent is now in its tenth astonishingly brilliant year!"

Admit it. We have a drinking problem.

Skeptic: Critical Thinking, Facts, Debunking.

"Not tonight. Margie wants to watch some guy deep fry a duck on cable."

America's funniest election gaffes

"Am I through to the next round?"

'What a strange episode -- they just voted Ricardo Montalban off the island!'

I can now come clean. The person who secretly told me that Mitch McConnell loves Dr. Pimple Popper is … Hold it! Hold it? Commercial break. Nothing' says sexy like cholesterol.

'You're not being fired Jenkins. It's just that all our colleagues have booted you out of the company.'

"Have you ever given any thought to what you're going to do after all your hopes and dreams are crushed?"

"I wanted to deliver a message of hope and tolerance in a complex global society but I decided to update them on the Kardashians instead."

Objects in mirror bear no relation to reality.

There are dreams...And then there's reality...

Rumours Online

'Apparently, wild hopes and dreams, re-enacted by Barbie and Ken, are no substitute for a solid business plan.'

"I suppose we have Judge Judy to thank for all this."

The big questions in life.