Reality Check Seeker Gifts

"He had nothing but respect for me. I finally had to sue to get child support."

"It's hard if you think you're a golden goose to accept that you're a lame duck."

$12 for bottled water?! Haven't you been watching the news? America's aging pipes are leaching chemicals into the water that cause horrific illnesses. The entire city of Flint was poisoned by lead, leading to developmental damage in children and probably causing an outbreak of Legionnaires' disease. All bottled water is tested for lead. But ours is special, it's guaranteed to be 100% free of certain other chemicals too. Our bottled water is also 100% free of adamantium, NTH metal, vibranium, kry

Reality Check $.50.

Delivery Man fantasises of recipient of Lingerie

'Perhaps you've been 'lovin it' a bit too much?'

'You need to get out more'

'We always go to the island for the weekend.'

"This is the perfect way to watch movies if you love mosquitoes and having a cold, wet butt."

"Well, either you're hopelessly optimistic or hopelessly short-sighted."

Admit it. We have a drinking problem.

Staff. Manager. So then you must say "I refuse to lift weights." Hey, that's not what I expected when I hired you to be a resistance training instructor!

Skeptic: Critical Thinking, Facts, Debunking.

Truth

Objects in mirror bear no relation to reality.

"Have you ever given any thought to what you're going to do after all your hopes and dreams are crushed?"

There are dreams...And then there's reality...

"It looks like we've reached the end of reality..."

'Apparently, wild hopes and dreams, re-enacted by Barbie and Ken, are no substitute for a solid business plan.'

"I've never read such utter nonsense! There's a guy here reckons we're all living in some kind of computer simulation!!"

Since I took command of the company, I have steered a steady course.

"This says you should expect to spend six months and at least $800 building the perfect lowrider bike."

"We've managed to eliminate every problem except the public perception that we're heading in the wrong direction."

"Do you ever wish you lived in a different era, Randy?" "Well… every waking moment I wish I were living before the beginning of existence itself. So I could witness the Big Bang." "It's safer to keep me where I am. Injecting my advanced virility into more primitive eras could have disastrous effects on the timeline." "That way I could know for sure whether our universe is all just one big simulation running on some geek's computer." "I mean, everything being made up of atoms and math is

"With all the AI and deep fake technology, I'm not even sure what's real anymore."

'If you want a reality check, I'll have to see two pieces of I. D.'

'I'm going to put you in touch with reality.', 'Can't I just sneak up on it?'

'Not yet! Wait until he hits the breaking point... we just gave him some warm, soft bread and the cold, hard butter... THEN we bring out the flimsy plastic knife.'

Psychiatrist. She said she could help get me in touch with reality or boost my self-esteem but not both.

"You can make your life any way you want it. Don't let your thoughts limit your future. It is possible to achieve your dreams!"

"Starting at a new agency can be overwhelming. Let me show you around."

'Yeah? Well... bite me! No... wait!'

Psychiatry. I know I've lost touch with reality, but in my defense, reality started it.

"Maybe you should be depressed, your life isn't that great."

"I believe you were complaining about your cold this morning."