Reality Check Receiver Gifts

"When I'm an adult, things will be different... I'll be...the coolest adult...eh...ver...ZZZZ...."

"This is the perfect way to watch movies if you love mosquitoes and having a cold, wet butt."

"Well, either you're hopelessly optimistic or hopelessly short-sighted."

"...I don't believe in the past or the future. I don't even believe in right now. Everyone remembers the past differently. Everyone imagines the future differently. Everyone even disagrees about what's happening right now. So who's to say tomorrow what you and I did tonight?"

Admit it. We have a drinking problem.

Staff. Manager. So then you must say "I refuse to lift weights." Hey, that's not what I expected when I hired you to be a resistance training instructor!

Skeptic: Critical Thinking, Facts, Debunking.

There are dreams...And then there's reality...

"Have you ever given any thought to what you're going to do after all your hopes and dreams are crushed?"

Objects in mirror bear no relation to reality.

'Apparently, wild hopes and dreams, re-enacted by Barbie and Ken, are no substitute for a solid business plan.'

"Do you ever wish you lived in a different era, Randy?" "Well… every waking moment I wish I were living before the beginning of existence itself. So I could witness the Big Bang." "It's safer to keep me where I am. Injecting my advanced virility into more primitive eras could have disastrous effects on the timeline." "That way I could know for sure whether our universe is all just one big simulation running on some geek's computer." "I mean, everything being made up of atoms and math is

Since I took command of the company, I have steered a steady course.

'If you want a reality check, I'll have to see two pieces of I. D.'

"We've managed to eliminate every problem except the public perception that we're heading in the wrong direction."

"This says you should expect to spend six months and at least $800 building the perfect lowrider bike."

If a tree falls on a philosopher in the woods, and no one is there to hear his screams for help, did he really make a sound?

'Not yet! Wait until he hits the breaking point... we just gave him some warm, soft bread and the cold, hard butter... THEN we bring out the flimsy plastic knife.'

"I believe you were complaining about your cold this morning."

'Perhaps you've been 'lovin it' a bit too much?'

"Maybe you should be depressed, your life isn't that great."

'Because I CAN'T follow my dreams, dummy!'

"You can make your life any way you want it. Don't let your thoughts limit your future. It is possible to achieve your dreams!"

Psychiatrist. She said she could help get me in touch with reality or boost my self-esteem but not both.

'Yeah? Well... bite me! No... wait!'

"Starting at a new agency can be overwhelming. Let me show you around."

'Actually, the bill is part of your reality therapy.'

'The more successful I become, the less money I make.'

'Don't give up the day job...'

"It looked better when I saw it on Instagram."

The back of the Taj Mahal.

'I think that's enough enlightenment for now Tim!'

'You have to learn to face reality.', 'Can't I just sneak up on it?'

"We need to reduce our overheads."

'He has an MBA from Wharton.'