Relationship Reality Checker Pillows

"I am forsaking all others, but these things take time."

"Till death do us part? Hey, I thought this was just supposed to be a starter marriage!"

Man says to woman: 'No, I'm not the man you married ??" who the heck are you and how did you get into my kitchen?'

"Your husband is fooling around."

"And I said, 'I'm tired of you asking me what I'm thinking' and heeeeeer we are."

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

"Jackie, why does your relationship status read ‘capitulated to’ me?!"

'My understanding of psychiatry is that women fantasiss and men internalise - in fact I'd like to internalise right now.'

'Charlie is the first to admit that he's too old for me.'

"She's in a conversationally induced coma."

"Why don't you find a museum!"

That may well be how the catalk models do it, but I still think you look like a three legged horse in a field of cowpats!

"I feel we haven't moved beyond parallel play."

"If i were to kiss you then there is a 17% probability that we might get married and that has a 24% likelihood that we'd have children with a 34% change of divorce...I'm not sure I can risk it."

Tunnel of Love/Tunnel of Marriage

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

"This will be hilarious!"

"The TV remote? So, I decide what we watch tonight?"

The prying mantis,

"You never told me your dad was so delightfully old-fashioned."

Battle of the sexes in a relationship

'When we first met there was a chemistry between us. These days though, it's more of a 'chemistry set'.'

"We don't talk anymore."

"Even though I wasn't always perfect, I feel deep down that I am now."

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

'The way we met was interesting. I opened my wallet and there she was!'

'Trust me, she can't fail to notice you now...'

'Remember you told me to be friendly to your boss.'

"This is just SO like him. For years, I begged him to straighten up and fly right, and when he finally DID, it was right into a picture window!"

"I feel like I don’t even know my own husband ... and it’s driving me wild!"

'Since I met you I can't eat...I can't drink...I'm broke.'

"Why can’t this count as ‘date night’?"

"She said, 'I'll go if you go,' and I said, 'I'll go if you go,' and here we are."

"Am I through to the next round?"