Relationship Reader Gifts

"Bertha, will you do me a favor and stop reading those damn 'How to Save Your Marriage' articles?"

Marriage Guidance

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

'Charlie is the first to admit that he's too old for me.'

'My understanding of psychiatry is that women fantasiss and men internalise - in fact I'd like to internalise right now.'

"I feel we haven't moved beyond parallel play."

"They met in the express-checkout lane at the A.&P. and have slowed down only occasionally ever since."

"Why don't you find a museum!"

Try Mediation

Window Treatment

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

Tunnel of Love/Tunnel of Marriage

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

'When we first met there was a chemistry between us. These days though, it's more of a 'chemistry set'.'

"Even though I wasn't always perfect, I feel deep down that I am now."

Battle of the sexes in a relationship

"You never told me your dad was so delightfully old-fashioned."

Up-to-date Career-Specific Romance Novels

'It's been years since she sang my praises.'

Talk shows are great. Listen shows are even better.

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

"I feel like I don’t even know my own husband ... and it’s driving me wild!"

"This is just SO like him. For years, I begged him to straighten up and fly right, and when he finally DID, it was right into a picture window!"

Love Birds love dancing together

'The way we met was interesting. I opened my wallet and there she was!'

"She married and then divorced, and then she married and divorced, and then she married and lived happily ever after."

"My computer just texted me."

'Trust me, she can't fail to notice you now...'

'Harlow, why can't you be passionate like Mel Gibson?'

"Arthur, I need my space."

"...and do you agree to accept him as he is, and not try to change him?"

"She said, 'I'll go if you go,' and I said, 'I'll go if you go,' and here we are."

"Yes, he was very nice, Mom, but he had to cut the date short because it was... 'report card time'!"

Hollywood Breakup

'We need to talk about your fear of commitment, Ralph.'