Relationship Reader Gifts

"Bertha, will you do me a favor and stop reading those damn 'How to Save Your Marriage' articles?"

Marriage Guidance

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

'Charlie is the first to admit that he's too old for me.'

'My understanding of psychiatry is that women fantasiss and men internalise - in fact I'd like to internalise right now.'

"They met in the express-checkout lane at the A.&P. and have slowed down only occasionally ever since."

"I feel we haven't moved beyond parallel play."

"Why don't you find a museum!"

Try Mediation

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

Window Treatment

"This paw has you meeting a lovely poodle, an enchantress who will win your heart... but look, here, this is telling me she's lousy with fleas."

Tunnel of Love/Tunnel of Marriage

Battle of the sexes in a relationship

"Even though I wasn't always perfect, I feel deep down that I am now."

'When we first met there was a chemistry between us. These days though, it's more of a 'chemistry set'.'

"You never told me your dad was so delightfully old-fashioned."

Up-to-date Career-Specific Romance Novels

'It's been years since she sang my praises.'

"This is just SO like him. For years, I begged him to straighten up and fly right, and when he finally DID, it was right into a picture window!"

"My computer just texted me."

'The way we met was interesting. I opened my wallet and there she was!'

"I feel like I don’t even know my own husband ... and it’s driving me wild!"

'Trust me, she can't fail to notice you now...'

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

"She married and then divorced, and then she married and divorced, and then she married and lived happily ever after."

Love Birds love dancing together

Talk shows are great. Listen shows are even better.

Upper West Side Story

Hollywood Breakup

'We need to talk about your fear of commitment, Ralph.'

"Yes, he was very nice, Mom, but he had to cut the date short because it was... 'report card time'!"

"She said, 'I'll go if you go,' and I said, 'I'll go if you go,' and here we are."

'Harlow, why can't you be passionate like Mel Gibson?'

"Why can’t this count as ‘date night’?"