Relationship Column Reader Gifts

"He's playing very hard to get - he's got a restraining order."

Try Mediation

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

Window Treatment

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

"And there was I thinking you'd been Beta tested."

"Even though I wasn't always perfect, I feel deep down that I am now."

"I may be obsessive and I may be compulsive, but no way am I obsessive compulsive."

'It's been years since she sang my praises.'

"My computer just texted me."

Awkward First Dates

"Bob & Sue 2011" "Sued Bob 2011"

"Men can keep a secret, but it takes a woman to tell them that it was supposed to be a secret!"

Talk shows are great. Listen shows are even better.

"You're crappin' in the closet again, Claude."

"She married and then divorced, and then she married and divorced, and then she married and lived happily ever after."

'At last, the newly discovered films of Woody Alien.'

Sharing the Bed with Zeno

Relationships.

"...and do you agree to accept him as he is, and not try to change him?"

I asked my girlfriend if there was someone else...

"I'll probably die an old woman before I get that bedtime story."

'Harlow, why can't you be passionate like Mel Gibson?'

"It's nothing, go back to sleep. I was just getting a DNA sample."

Hollywood Breakup

"I'm ready to go whenever you're through fussing with tablescapes."

"Oh darling! I just got your wonderful value added proposition! Of course I'll marry you!"

"I've had you appraised."

"I didn't mean your day wasn't hard, too."

"I miss the way it was when I thought you knew everything."

'Edwards... Tamano... this isn't what I had in mind when I sent you two out on the company retreat.'

"She's got money and he's a 'poet'."

"Remember that lovely couple of scarlet macaws we met in Puerto Jiménez? They split up!"