Relationship Column Reader Prints

"He's playing very hard to get - he's got a restraining order."

Try Mediation

Window Treatment

"O.K. I'm just feeding in your personal details for a suitable match..."

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

"Even though I wasn't always perfect, I feel deep down that I am now."

'I'd like to dedicate this next tune to those who have discovered love, gotten married, and wished desperately for death.'

"And there was I thinking you'd been Beta tested."

"I may be obsessive and I may be compulsive, but no way am I obsessive compulsive."

'It's been years since she sang my praises.'

"She married and then divorced, and then she married and divorced, and then she married and lived happily ever after."

"My computer just texted me."

Talk shows are great. Listen shows are even better.

Awkward First Dates

"Bob & Sue 2011" "Sued Bob 2011"

"Men can keep a secret, but it takes a woman to tell them that it was supposed to be a secret!"

"So, how are we doing with our trust issues?"

"You're crappin' in the closet again, Claude."

Relationships.

'At last, the newly discovered films of Woody Alien.'

Sharing the Bed with Zeno

"It's nothing, go back to sleep. I was just getting a DNA sample."

(Diamonds shining, … Dancing, dining, …with some man in a restaurant. Is that all you really want?) (Are you making this up?) (Unsophisticated Lady)

"I'll probably die an old woman before I get that bedtime story."

I asked my girlfriend if there was someone else...

'Harlow, why can't you be passionate like Mel Gibson?'

"...and do you agree to accept him as he is, and not try to change him?"

Hollywood Breakup

"I'm ready to go whenever you're through fussing with tablescapes."

"Oh darling! I just got your wonderful value added proposition! Of course I'll marry you!"

"I didn't mean your day wasn't hard, too."

"I've had you appraised."

"She's got money and he's a 'poet'."

'Edwards... Tamano... this isn't what I had in mind when I sent you two out on the company retreat.'

"I miss the way it was when I thought you knew everything."