Relationship Explorer Pillows

"With you I have known peace, Lida, and now you say you're going crazy."

Personality testing...

'Gee, talk about body language!'

The Full Disclosure Amusement Park: 'Tunnel of Impulse and Questionable Judgment.'

"Dear, what would you say to the idea of bringing more ethnic and gender diversity into our marriage?"

"Which version of yourself was the one who sabotaged the relationship?"

"I've decided to outsource my emotional needs."

"We couldn't connect. He kept spouting technobabble, and I, of course, kept coming back with psychobabble."

"I got my DNA analysis back. Guess what - I'm a Hapsburg."

Safe sex.

"That's the dating guru."

'Is your marriage okay?' - 'I wouldn't know. We're not talking.'

"I appreciate couples therapy, but I can't stop fantasizing about group therapy."

"I love you, but not in that way."

"I think our relationship is truly gender neutral."

'You're a woman and I'm a man. Who says opposites don't attract?'

"Was I snoring again?"

"If only we had met when gas prices were lower."

The Sex life of a Driving Test Examiner, "Thank you. I will not ask you to perform that manoeuvre again."

'I'm not sure where I'm going, I'm just following my wife.'

"I suppose you think this is boring!"

"Whatever happened to the word foreplay?"

'Disappointed? You ask if I'm disappointed? Well, Arthur, after 38 years of patiently peeling away one onion layer after another, I'll admit I HAD hoped there was something more that a tough, green sprout-thingie at your core!'

'You never let me drive!'

"I don't know what I ever saw in him. I was hoping a fresh set of eyes might see something I missed."

"You've changed."

Polygamist

"I don't know what I'd do without you...but I'm willing to find out."

You'd be surprises how inflexible he really is!

"Here's a list of my passwords, dear."

"I've finally learned to live with myself - you're next."

If Ted had realized what his Mormon girlfriend actually meant, he never would have agreed.

"Helen changed our song, and she refuses to hum even a few bars to me."

'I want a divorce, a divorce, and a divorce.'

People Work Perfectly...We process all information through our senses...the meaning of communication is the response we get.