Relationship Advice Explorer Pillows

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

"In lieu of a pre-nup we decided just to label everything."

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

"I don't love you. That's it in a nutshell."

"I met him on an online dating site. He was on their 'return' section."

'Charlie is the first to admit that he's too old for me.'

'My understanding of psychiatry is that women fantasiss and men internalise - in fact I'd like to internalise right now.'

"Why don't you find a museum!"

'You know too much!'

"I feel we haven't moved beyond parallel play."

"Sometimes I like to come here by myself and contemplate ... or just scream about you."

"I've switched my energy provider, and I switched my broadband provider. Now I want to switch my misery provider."

"Is that true, Charles? You leave your crap all over the house?"

"Is this Randy the Love Doctor?"

Tunnel of Love/Tunnel of Marriage

"OK, fine. Perhaps 'sower of discord in the lower depths of hell' was overstating it."

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

Battle of the sexes in a relationship

"...And do you promise if you ever should divorce that you'll remain friends?"

"You never told me your dad was so delightfully old-fashioned."

'When we first met there was a chemistry between us. These days though, it's more of a 'chemistry set'.'

"You can’t just go up the waterspout whenever you hear something you don’t like!"

'...In functionality and in dysfunctionality....'

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

"Our therapist couple be so proud of us now."

"This is just SO like him. For years, I begged him to straighten up and fly right, and when he finally DID, it was right into a picture window!"

"We don't have sex any more, we argue about money and you hate my mother. We should be married."

"Since he's been a plagiarist, committed perjury and runs a Ponzi scheme, trust can be an issue."

'Trust me, she can't fail to notice you now...'

'The way we met was interesting. I opened my wallet and there she was!'

"I feel like I don’t even know my own husband ... and it’s driving me wild!"

"If you don't stop saying 'This whole game is a charade!' we're going home."

I'm your girlfriend and best friend so I get twice as many slices

WHO checklist