Relationship Trouble Enthusiast Pillows

"Brad, if you can't say 'I love you' without using finger quotes, I'm outta here."

Man comes home late from work to angry wife.

Relationship counselor: 'She started behaving strangely, and our man-machine interface has become unpredictable.'

"You don't whisper anymore."

Paint pots in love

"I don't know about you, but I'm ready to take this marriage full-throttle."

You got what you deserve … you deserve each other.

Urns in love

(Man with 'BEFORE sign): 'My wife says I'm a work-in-progress.'

"I opened the last of the emergency wine."

"Take a look - that's us in ninety years."

"I think I'm as patient as the next person, but my husband wouldn't stop saying 'yo,' so I shot him."

"Maybe what she really wants you to do is rub her tummy."

"I'm not laughing at you, dear-I'm laughing with everyone but you."

' You're wonderful.' 'I know.'

'Here's to being in love, in a hurry, and in debt.'

An evening with Stanley Bucholtz, relationship MD,,,tonight: 'Just ONE evening,,,'

Hold on

Growing Love

"I don't know whether to love you or leave you - but then that's the reality of arbitrage."

Tunnel of Love and the Tunnel of Mutual Respect and Admiration.

Speech-bubble-head-boy loves think-bubble-head-girl.

"After two years of dating, we decided it was finally time to move in together."

'We've entered the 'password sharing' phase of our relationship!'

"Legs up to here!"

Ereptile Dysfunction

"I'm looking for a man who has an unwavering character, except when he's talking to me."

'Relax babe, that's me before the operation,'

Going into the relationship, Tom knew Loretta was a package deal.

"Maybe I will and maybe I won't - You're not prejudiced against transvestites, are you?"

Love

What are you doing? You promised we'd watch it together!

"Too desperate?"

It's obvious anniversaries are the lynchpin of the big oil conspiracy. What? Husbands forget them. Which leads to wives pummeling them. Which leads to men making sure they don't forget again. All you had to do was mark it in your calendar! What do you think pens are made of? Pummeling will now commence.

"When did you first notice your wife was missing?"