Relationship Trouble Enthusiast Pillows

"Brad, if you can't say 'I love you' without using finger quotes, I'm outta here."

Man comes home late from work to angry wife.

Relationship counselor: 'She started behaving strangely, and our man-machine interface has become unpredictable.'

"You don't whisper anymore."

"I don't know about you, but I'm ready to take this marriage full-throttle."

Paint pots in love

You got what you deserve … you deserve each other.

Urns in love

(Man with 'BEFORE sign): 'My wife says I'm a work-in-progress.'

"I opened the last of the emergency wine."

"I think I'm as patient as the next person, but my husband wouldn't stop saying 'yo,' so I shot him."

"I'm not laughing at you, dear-I'm laughing with everyone but you."

"Take a look - that's us in ninety years."

"Maybe what she really wants you to do is rub her tummy."

' You're wonderful.' 'I know.'

'Here's to being in love, in a hurry, and in debt.'

An evening with Stanley Bucholtz, relationship MD,,,tonight: 'Just ONE evening,,,'

Growing Love

Tunnel of Love and the Tunnel of Mutual Respect and Admiration.

"After two years of dating, we decided it was finally time to move in together."

Speech-bubble-head-boy loves think-bubble-head-girl.

"I don't know whether to love you or leave you - but then that's the reality of arbitrage."

'We've entered the 'password sharing' phase of our relationship!'

"I'll tell you what he's got that we haven't - a bigger leaf!"

Ereptile Dysfunction

"Too desperate?"

'Would you like a romantic table or are you married?'

"Maybe I will and maybe I won't - You're not prejudiced against transvestites, are you?"

'Not an orgasm, just the bed springs, I'm afraid.'

"Legs up to here!"

Love

"When did you first notice your wife was missing?"

Going into the relationship, Tom knew Loretta was a package deal.

"I'm looking for a man who has an unwavering character, except when he's talking to me."