Relationship Scientists Gifts

When chemical engineers break up.

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

"Your wonderful daughter and I would like to become engaged in F.Y. '97, married in F.Y. '98, and if the numbers look good, start a family in F.Y. '99."

The best financial decision I ever made.

"Is that true, Charles? You leave your crap all over the house?"

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

'My serotonin levels have maxed-out, my brain is awash in glucocoriticoids and, if it weren't for my leveling endogenous opiates, I'd float out that window!'

Sexual chemistry set

"And there was I thinking you'd been Beta tested."

"I may be obsessive and I may be compulsive, but no way am I obsessive compulsive."

Awkward First Dates

"And anyway we'd be no good in bed - I've done the math."

"Men can keep a secret, but it takes a woman to tell them that it was supposed to be a secret!"

"So, how are we doing with our trust issues?"

'Honestly! You really ought to see someone about that cough of yours.'

'You've changed since we got married.'

'She seems to think I only have one thing on my mind.'

'It took me years of training, but now he's my perfect man.'

It's my biggest project - a database of all my sister's boyfriends.

"I see marriage as a verb, he sees it as a triathlon."

I asked my girlfriend if there was someone else...

"I do like you, Peter, but interfacing is a very serious step."

"I'll probably die an old woman before I get that bedtime story."

(Diamonds shining, … Dancing, dining, …with some man in a restaurant. Is that all you really want?) (Are you making this up?) (Unsophisticated Lady)

'At last, the newly discovered films of Woody Alien.'

'And the life of man, solitary, poore, nasty, brutish, and short.' -- Thomas Hobbes, 'I dated a guy like that once.'

"It's nothing, go back to sleep. I was just getting a DNA sample."

"You used to be that ambitious."

Sharing the Bed with Zeno

Relationships.

"Ours will be the first mixed marriage in my family. Dog people NEVER marry cat people."

"I'm ready to go whenever you're through fussing with tablescapes."

'We've been playing house for 5 minutes, and she's already nagging me to get a job.'

"Oh darling! I just got your wonderful value added proposition! Of course I'll marry you!"

"I've had you appraised."