Relationship Experimentalist Gifts

Sexual chemistry set

"Agamemnon and Clytemnestra have decided to separate amicably."

"I'd like the garden salad with the blue cheese dressing, and my mother would like me married by age thirty."

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

'Charlie is the first to admit that he's too old for me.'

'Oh, Arthur...You sweet, blind, mad, dear, silly fool....Don't you see it could never last?'

'My understanding of psychiatry is that women fantasiss and men internalise - in fact I'd like to internalise right now.'

"And do you, Deborah Tannen, think they know what they're talking about?"

"Why don't you find a museum!"

"Perhaps later on we can go back to my psychiatrist's office for some couples therapy?"

"You owe me five bucks."

"Get me this...get me that...fluff my pillow...I don't feel well...if I wanted to listen to that all day, I wouldn't have left my husband!"

"I feel we haven't moved beyond parallel play."

"Is that true, Charles? You leave your crap all over the house?"

Tunnel of Love/Tunnel of Marriage

"...until death do you a favor."

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

'Life is all attitude: 45 seconds of enjoying it...45,000 hours of regretting it...'

"Remember back in the day when I was a real heartbreaker?" "Riiight... now the only thing you break is wind."

"Darling, I think we need to talk about where this relationship is going..." Male evolution.

'...honestly I just feel like we don't communicate like we used to!'

'That was close...hit me right in the wallet.'

'When he said it would be 'me and him against the world' I had no idea everyone was already mad at him.'

'When we first met there was a chemistry between us. These days though, it's more of a 'chemistry set'.'

"I want to be straight with you, Cathy—I've gone through a number of cars in my life."

"I do have a special someone, but he sucks."

"...And do you promise if you ever should divorce that you'll remain friends?"

"Harold, you've changed."

Women in bed with her husband reads a book titled 'Sex Stinks'.

"Tom, I’d like you to meet Chris. Chris is better than you."

"You never told me your dad was so delightfully old-fashioned."

Battle of the sexes in a relationship

"Oh no. Is that my ex?"

'Scratch 3 and 5. 3's had a fight and 5's just going to live together instead.'