Relationship Scientist Gifts

'Lovers'Lane has changed a bit since our day,eh,luv!'

"Agamemnon and Clytemnestra have decided to separate amicably."

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

'Oh, Arthur...You sweet, blind, mad, dear, silly fool....Don't you see it could never last?'

"Your wonderful daughter and I would like to become engaged in F.Y. '97, married in F.Y. '98, and if the numbers look good, start a family in F.Y. '99."

The best financial decision I ever made.

"I feel we haven't moved beyond parallel play."

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

"Darling, I think we need to talk about where this relationship is going..." Male evolution.

"Is that true, Charles? You leave your crap all over the house?"

Sexual chemistry set

'My serotonin levels have maxed-out, my brain is awash in glucocoriticoids and, if it weren't for my leveling endogenous opiates, I'd float out that window!'

"And there was I thinking you'd been Beta tested."

'When he said it would be 'me and him against the world' I had no idea everyone was already mad at him.'

"Harold, you've changed."

"I may be obsessive and I may be compulsive, but no way am I obsessive compulsive."

'I don't like Gerald as a person, but I like him as a concept.'

"Men can keep a secret, but it takes a woman to tell them that it was supposed to be a secret!"

"Believe me when I tell you that I'm not that honest."

"And anyway we'd be no good in bed - I've done the math."

"I want to get married and start a family with you—although God knows who I'll want to finish it with."

'After sex he checks his cell phone messages.'

Awkward First Dates

'You've changed since we got married.'

Strangers. friends. Lovers. Spouse.

It is believed dear Jack finally figured out women. Trouble is, he died laughing before he could tell anybody.

"Why won't you cuddle?"

I asked my girlfriend if there was someone else...

"Ours will be the first mixed marriage in my family. Dog people NEVER marry cat people."

'At last, the newly discovered films of Woody Alien.'

'Interesting article in Nature this week - apparently love's not a wave, it's a particle.'