Relationship Scientist Gifts

'Lovers'Lane has changed a bit since our day,eh,luv!'

"Agamemnon and Clytemnestra have decided to separate amicably."

"Oooh... Look, honey. Scarlet macaws! You know, they mate for life." "That's what you think."

'Oh, Arthur...You sweet, blind, mad, dear, silly fool....Don't you see it could never last?'

"Your wonderful daughter and I would like to become engaged in F.Y. '97, married in F.Y. '98, and if the numbers look good, start a family in F.Y. '99."

"And do you, Deborah Tannen, think they know what they're talking about?"

The best financial decision I ever made.

"I feel we haven't moved beyond parallel play."

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

"Darling, I think we need to talk about where this relationship is going..." Male evolution.

"Is that true, Charles? You leave your crap all over the house?"

'My serotonin levels have maxed-out, my brain is awash in glucocoriticoids and, if it weren't for my leveling endogenous opiates, I'd float out that window!'

Sexual chemistry set

"And there was I thinking you'd been Beta tested."

"Harold, you've changed."

'When he said it would be 'me and him against the world' I had no idea everyone was already mad at him.'

"I may be obsessive and I may be compulsive, but no way am I obsessive compulsive."

'I don't like Gerald as a person, but I like him as a concept.'

'After sex he checks his cell phone messages.'

"Believe me when I tell you that I'm not that honest."

"So, how are we doing with our trust issues?"

"And anyway we'd be no good in bed - I've done the math."

Awkward First Dates

"I want to get married and start a family with you—although God knows who I'll want to finish it with."

"Men can keep a secret, but it takes a woman to tell them that it was supposed to be a secret!"

'Honestly! You really ought to see someone about that cough of yours.'

'You've changed since we got married.'

Strangers. friends. Lovers. Spouse.

'She seems to think I only have one thing on my mind.'

It is believed dear Jack finally figured out women. Trouble is, he died laughing before he could tell anybody.

"Why won't you cuddle?"

'Interesting article in Nature this week - apparently love's not a wave, it's a particle.'

'It took me years of training, but now he's my perfect man.'

(Diamonds shining, … Dancing, dining, …with some man in a restaurant. Is that all you really want?) (Are you making this up?) (Unsophisticated Lady)

I asked my girlfriend if there was someone else...