Relationship Roaster Pillows

"Oh stop judging me, Gerald!"

"Cheers! Well, this is exciting. I've never had a dinner date with a duck before." "Relax, honey. I'm just here for the bread."

In the Guru District

"Jackie, why does your relationship status read ‘capitulated to’ me?!"

"I can't decide if we're good people who are bad at communicating, or monsters who communicate perfectly."

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

"She's in a conversationally induced coma."

"They met in the express-checkout lane at the A.&P. and have slowed down only occasionally ever since."

"We'll always have couples therapy."

That may well be how the catalk models do it, but I still think you look like a three legged horse in a field of cowpats!

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

"No, I really DO love you. It's just that my committee has some issues."

Couples' therapy

"She wanted to go to the beach. I wanted to golf."

"This will be hilarious!"

"The yellow spotted green bird, eats its body weight in bugs, and mates once every three years."

"The TV remote? So, I decide what we watch tonight?"

I really think I can handle this date on my own. Lemme ask you something. Would you trust me alone with a ybot 340? An Xbox 360? They changed the name? Okay. But you cannot hit on my date. I'm only here to help.

"I've switched my energy provider, and I switched my broadband provider. Now I want to switch my misery provider."

The prying mantis,

"What's going on Jen? Why didn't you respond to my kissing emoji?"

'Great Therapy!'

I want to rip out our lawn and plant a wild meadow. And I want lost of well-mown grass. What do you recommend? Nursery open. Just a sec. I'll check with my dad. No way! Tree's Tree Nursery. I'm not suggesting a marriage counselor!

"He keeps reissuing everything I take issue with."

"Yeah. But he's a handful."

"The whole time we were dating, he kept saying, 'You can't catch me, I'm the Gingerbread Man!"

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

"Of course I won't forget to tell you when quarantine's over!"

"There's something I have to tell you."

"Y'know, I don't know what I'd do without her, but I'd sure like to find out."

"Do we go out or do we stay home and open a can of worms?"

"Want to deal with some unresolved issues or just get another movie."

Yeah, you're right. She's playing hard-to-get.

"Store policy is that I need a note from your wife."

"When we first started seeing each other, we would always use the same word for snow."