Relationship Gourmet Pillows

'Leeks can disappoint you and garlic will break your heart, but only onions make you cry.'

"The lobster dinner is thirty eight dollars, or for ten dollars extra you can have him returned to the sea."

"I bet you can't name one person who makes a better lengua casserole than me!"

Cat eating fish from fishbowl.

Wine and Cheese

The Good Feud Guide - 'Delia Smith does a nice roasted Worrall-Thompson.'

"Yes, a table for three: me, him and his ego."

"I don’t care if you are a noodle. I love you."

"How nice. A truffle."

'You have to lose weight. Stop having intimate dinners for two, when you are not expecting anyone to join you.'

Chicago School of Home Economics

"It needs a dash of gravel, I reckon."

Chinese Novel Cookie

"That cat is just finicky...I think the cat food tastes just fine! How about you, Herb?"

"Oh stop judging me, Gerald!"

Claret

Picasso paints AND eats like a child!

"I still call it a custard tart but to be honest, it's a dairy free, soy fructose mix, with no nuts."

Why Shirley hates to eat genetic modified Broccoli.

'What a wonderful evening, Chuck - candlelight, soft music and my favourite feed.'

Data Processing Center.

'We're a team - he walks the walk, and I talk the talk!'

'Yes Sir that is the lowest calorie dish on the menu, the chef has even eaten the fish for you. He says it was wonderful.'

Drunk...

No Flash Photography of Meals

Selecting teeth.. "I'll have those, please."

Railtrack Canteen Menu

"Look what we can achieve when we put our differences aside and make some tough choices...LUNCH!"

"Your wife's sleeping with my cousin mike." Rat Poison