Relationship Gourmet Gifts

'Leeks can disappoint you and garlic will break your heart, but only onions make you cry.'

'I can't wait 'til hunting is googling and gathering is calling out for delivery.'

"The lobster dinner is thirty eight dollars, or for ten dollars extra you can have him returned to the sea."

Sure, I'll take a sandwich

"I bet you can't name one person who makes a better lengua casserole than me!"

Cat eating fish from fishbowl.

Wine and Cheese

The Good Feud Guide - 'Delia Smith does a nice roasted Worrall-Thompson.'

Where cronuts come from.

"Yes, a table for three: me, him and his ego."

"I don’t care if you are a noodle. I love you."

"How nice. A truffle."

'You have to lose weight. Stop having intimate dinners for two, when you are not expecting anyone to join you.'

Chicago School of Home Economics

"It needs a dash of gravel, I reckon."

Chinese Novel Cookie

"That cat is just finicky...I think the cat food tastes just fine! How about you, Herb?"

"Oh stop judging me, Gerald!"

Claret

Why Shirley hates to eat genetic modified Broccoli.

Picasso paints AND eats like a child!

'What a wonderful evening, Chuck - candlelight, soft music and my favourite feed.'

"I still call it a custard tart but to be honest, it's a dairy free, soy fructose mix, with no nuts."

I never had a pony, Dr. Kapuchnik. Get over it, Al. Tastes like chicken.

Data Processing Center.

'We're a team - he walks the walk, and I talk the talk!'

'Yes Sir that is the lowest calorie dish on the menu, the chef has even eaten the fish for you. He says it was wonderful.'

Drunk...

No Flash Photography of Meals

Selecting teeth.. "I'll have those, please."

Grand Opening! I wish someone had told me those weren't for haircuts.

The big advantage of a Zoom Thanksgiving is that I can wear sweatpants under the table and never have to worry about loosening my belt in the middle of eating.

Railtrack Canteen Menu

"Look what we can achieve when we put our differences aside and make some tough choices...LUNCH!"

"Your wife's sleeping with my cousin mike." Rat Poison