Creative Gourmet Gifts

Chinese Novel Cookie

Cat eating fish from fishbowl.

Picasso paints AND eats like a child!

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

'I can't wait 'til hunting is googling and gathering is calling out for delivery.'

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

It turns out they don't go together so well,

Too much cilantro

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

"Dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, onion bagel with Nutella and cream cheese, dirt, dirt, dirt..."

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

To do before Saturday...

'You wanted to be a wine maker in the worst way, Paul - and you've succeeded.'

The Main Types of Cheese

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"Grass...Grass and more damn grass... What I wouldn't give for a lightly poached Dover sole with a garlic infused tarragon sauce."

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

Cheese

Lockdown casserole

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

'Is this still America?'

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

Holiday Supplies

PREPARING A POMEGRANATE FOR DUMMIES

"Spoiler alert! If you read the specials, you'll find out the Chef's Surprise!"

"I use broccoli rabe as a litmus test."

"You ordered the organic, unprocessed, whole wheat spaghetti?"

'Cooking'