Imaginative Gourmet Gifts

Salvador Deli

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

Frank & Ernie's Diner. Special: Scrabbled Eggs. No, sir, it's not a misprint -- Ernie adds alphabet soup.

Children's Feast.

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

'I can't wait 'til hunting is googling and gathering is calling out for delivery.'

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

It turns out they don't go together so well,

'You wanted to be a wine maker in the worst way, Paul - and you've succeeded.'

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

The Main Types of Cheese

Too much cilantro

To do before Saturday...

'I'll have the bacon and hay wrap.'

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

Elfian lady grilling on mushroom: 'Summertime in the Enchanted Forest'.

"Dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, onion bagel with Nutella and cream cheese, dirt, dirt, dirt..."

"Grass...Grass and more damn grass... What I wouldn't give for a lightly poached Dover sole with a garlic infused tarragon sauce."

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

"Spoiler alert! If you read the specials, you'll find out the Chef's Surprise!"

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

"I use broccoli rabe as a litmus test."

Holiday Supplies

Cheese

'Is this still America?'

"You ordered the organic, unprocessed, whole wheat spaghetti?"

"We'd like the roasted homework for two. And fetch us a bottle of your finest toilet water."

"This place is famous for its short fiction about food."

'Cooking'