Imaginative Gourmet Pillows

Salvador Deli

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

Children's Feast.

It turns out they don't go together so well,

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

"Dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, dirt, onion bagel with Nutella and cream cheese, dirt, dirt, dirt..."

To do before Saturday...

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

The Main Types of Cheese

Too much cilantro

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

'You wanted to be a wine maker in the worst way, Paul - and you've succeeded.'

'I'll have the bacon and hay wrap.'

Elfian lady grilling on mushroom: 'Summertime in the Enchanted Forest'.

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"Grass...Grass and more damn grass... What I wouldn't give for a lightly poached Dover sole with a garlic infused tarragon sauce."

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'

Holiday Supplies

"Spoiler alert! If you read the specials, you'll find out the Chef's Surprise!"

'Is this still America?'

Cheese

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

"I use broccoli rabe as a litmus test."

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

"You ordered the organic, unprocessed, whole wheat spaghetti?"

'Six different chefs in six months and they still can't make a decent broth!'

'Cooking'

"This place is famous for its short fiction about food."

'We have Vanilla, Chocolate and Strawberry on your choice of Cedar, Oak or Elm cone...'