Corporate Gourmet Gifts

" 'Chicken Vindaloo for the Hindu Soul' is but the tip of the iceberg in our initial strategy of global expansion."

'What wine goes with an enormous expense account?'

'Drink up, Wilkins, this meal is 'on the firm'...'

When Managers have a Four Seasons pizza.

"I'm regretting that I offered him free lunch instead of an increased salary!"

LAY ZEE FUK

'I want to make a positive environmental statement - What do you suggest I order?'

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

'I can't wait 'til hunting is googling and gathering is calling out for delivery.'

'I'm a vegetarian.' - 'If it's so wrong to eat animals, why are they made out of meat?'

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

It turns out they don't go together so well,

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

The Main Types of Cheese

Too much cilantro

'I go to St. Patrick's Church, I go to St. Patrick's School, and my name is Patrick. Is it also necessary for me to eat green food?'

To do before Saturday...

'You wanted to be a wine maker in the worst way, Paul - and you've succeeded.'

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

"Grass...Grass and more damn grass... What I wouldn't give for a lightly poached Dover sole with a garlic infused tarragon sauce."

"The recipe said to let the chicken rest after it comes out of the oven!"

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'

"This is locally grown and good for the environment, but it may give you greenhouse gas."

Recipes from The Lying Gourmet

"I use broccoli rabe as a litmus test."

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

'Is this still America?'

'This wine is dreadful - try some.'

Holiday Supplies

"Spoiler alert! If you read the specials, you'll find out the Chef's Surprise!"