Relationship Runner Pillows

"They met in the express-checkout lane at the A.&P. and have slowed down only occasionally ever since."

In the Guru District

"Yes, I'm from London. 'Which part?' you ask. Well all of me!"

'Now what brings you lovely people here?'

'My understanding of psychiatry is that women fantasiss and men internalise - in fact I'd like to internalise right now.'

'Charlie is the first to admit that he's too old for me.'

"Why don't you find a museum!"

"I feel we haven't moved beyond parallel play."

"We'll always have couples therapy."

"Just keep quiet and listen to what we have to say."

"No, I really DO love you. It's just that my committee has some issues."

Couples' therapy

"I've switched my energy provider, and I switched my broadband provider. Now I want to switch my misery provider."

She - Interpreter - He.

"What's going on Jen? Why didn't you respond to my kissing emoji?"

'Great Therapy!'

Tunnel of Love/Tunnel of Marriage

"She wanted to go to the beach. I wanted to golf."

"You never told me your dad was so delightfully old-fashioned."

"Yeah. But he's a handful."

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

Battle of the sexes in a relationship

"He keeps reissuing everything I take issue with."

'When we first met there was a chemistry between us. These days though, it's more of a 'chemistry set'.'

"Of course I won't forget to tell you when quarantine's over!"

"There's something I have to tell you."

'Your wife says you act like a fool. I thought you said she never pays attention to you.'

"Y'know, I don't know what I'd do without her, but I'd sure like to find out."

'Trust me, she can't fail to notice you now...'

'The way we met was interesting. I opened my wallet and there she was!'

"Do we go out or do we stay home and open a can of worms?"

'Jane, cancel all my appointments for the rest of the week.'

"I feel like I don’t even know my own husband ... and it’s driving me wild!"

"When we first started seeing each other, we would always use the same word for snow."