Relationship Relaxer Gifts

"What's wrong?"

Their marriage in jeopardy, Strawberry Shortcake and Billy Bob Banana Bread seek therapy.

Kissing the Blarney Stone.

'We never go anywhere together except here.'

"You wanted the magic back in our relationship..."

'The cruises and long vacations ensure I'm not micro-managing.'

"Remember? I was sitting right up there when you came by and said 'Hi, beautiful!'"

Couple beyond prayer - need divine intervention.

"Great session, you guys - nice to see you both smiling again."

"I am staying ‘present,’ and presently she’s annoying me!"

'Thanks for the invitation, but I can never seem to find the energy to party...'

'I don't care what he says, child labor laws were never intended to protect the rights of children in their mid-30s.'

"Hey, I know - why don't we go on a little crime spree?"

'But boss, this will keep my muscles from getting fatiqued.'

'May I leave early today, Sir? The market is down and my wife is alone...'

"Sometimes I stop to think and forget to start again."

Woman does a strip tease on a remote control.

"A see through nighty? God who'd want to see you through that?"

"I'm not sure I'm ready to date again. I'm just coming off a bad mitosis."

'But I feel quite healthy.'

"She always gets the upper bunk."

'And he seems to think he's God's gift to women.'

Lazy dog.

"Please, Dianna, at least give me a chance to rebrand myself."

"The president wants me to stay on as unemployed."

Tunnel of Begrudging Compromise.

"Lately she refers to me as her 'insignificant other'."

I'm practicing for retirement - one hour every day.

'Jeez, Hon - ain't you ever goin' wear your 'yes' jammies again!?'

'You're being hostile. A gift certificate for a psychiatric session!'

Marriage Guidance / Travel Agent

Brenda tests to see if Karl can truly handle the low points of living together.