Relationship Improver Gifts

"Great session, you guys - nice to see you both smiling again."

"We'd like to update our vows with some bug fixes."

'You're being hostile. A gift certificate for a psychiatric session!'

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

"Have you tried binge-watching a show together?"

"I don't love you. That's it in a nutshell."

"You do like octopus?"

'Come on, you can make it work! You're supposed to be Lovebirds after all...'

"I traded his corncob pipe and his button nose for a buttoned lip, and things couldn't be better."

"I don't know who you are!"

"Our bond is stronger because we chose each other."

"I may be obsessive and I may be compulsive, but no way am I obsessive compulsive."

"Boy, I hope we never end up like this."

'You wanted to go on a romantic outing. You're on a romantic outing.'

"You wanted the magic back in our relationship..."

"Once again Tony and I are not on the same page. Things in our marriage are definitely not ‘great’."

"Take that mammoth back. It's not 'wooly' enough."

'Lost that loving feeling. If found, call 555-1234.'

Building business relations.

'What is that? Is that sarcasm?'

'May I suggest a pleasant viognier to put the subtext into gear?'

"What do you mean it could've been better?"

I'd invite you in, but my husband, my boyfriend and my python are all very jealous.

"You know, if it weren't for Penny, we'd never find time like this to connect."

"It's not you-it's me."

"I like an attentive lover, but these feedback forms are ridiculous."

'You used to make love to me like a Flying Scotsman, now you're more like a Puffing Billy!'

"Hey, Honey, our life cycle is too short to play hard to get."

"Arouse Me!"

"That's his answer to everything!"

I'll put this in a way you'll understand: you need to transfer your feelings from savings to checking.

"I love what you've done with him."

'Well, the marriage guidance counsellor advised us to share each others interests, didn't she?'

"I feel I'm losing touch with the unrealistic view I have of him."

'Dad, I don't need a two-thirds majority to over-ride your veto. I've got mom.'