Love Life Improver Gifts

'I know you love her and want to protect her. But it's wrong to laminate her.'

"I just love the way you're so endlessly inventive in the bedroom."

"You wanted the magic back in our relationship..."

Everyone agrees: Aunt Juanita needs a man.

"We REALLY do get better with age."

'Our relationship would be perfect if it wasn't for you!'

"Of course I love you, I'm just busy with other men."

"We didn't spend much time together when we first got married, so we're making up for lost time. We now have a date night 300 days a year."

'You have to do something...My husband just doesn't look at me the way he used to.'

GPs to be encouraged to offer advice on 'lifestyle' issues

"I'm not trying to change you. That's the personal trainer I hired's job."

Make love not war

It was worth a try, but I'm afraid the thrill is still gone, Harold.

"Great session, you guys - nice to see you both smiling again."

Bird Cage Cover over Wife's Head

Woman does a strip tease on a remote control.

Sadie, we need to see a couple's counselor. Yuck. No way! I won't spend a bunch of dough to have some halfwit tell me how to live my life! But I found an inexpensive counselor who will just listen to us talk through our issues. Counseling $10. This end up.

"We slipped in the tub."

'And he seems to think he's God's gift to women.'

"Please, Dianna, at least give me a chance to rebrand myself."

"I tried change, it didn't work."

'We need to twerk.'

Archers.

Test dummies holding 'Kama Sutra For Dummies' manual.

"Did I just butt-dial my booty call?"

'You're being hostile. A gift certificate for a psychiatric session!'

Brenda tests to see if Karl can truly handle the low points of living together.

Sex shop

"Does this mean you're not mad at me anymore?"

"Well, I don't know I'd call you lucky, but I do agree your boyfriend is quite a catch."

"Yes, you will soon find "Miss Right"...but her nickname is "Always"."

A learner driver in a heart-shaped car

"Are you 'Athletic, bronzed male, early thirties seeking buxom, fun-loving younger female'?"

Tunnel of I Need You to Help Out More Around the House

'That's very sweet of you, Professor Grossmertz, but love is only a theory.'