Lifestyle Improver Gifts

'I have to lose some weight...Every time I want to rest on my laurels I find I need wider laurels.'

Intendo.

GPs to be encouraged to offer advice on 'lifestyle' issues

"I tried change, it didn't work."

"I didn't spark joy."

"My online account predicts the things I should own, then buys them with my credit card. It�s very convenient, but I do now need to move to a larger house."

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

'Good news. Your cholesterol has stayed the same, but the research findings have changed.'

"Breathe in and reimagine yourself in a world where you lived a healthy lifestyle."

'OK. Lose weight, stop smoking, get fit, get a better job, spend more time with the kids, cut back on the booze, be better with money and buy a speed boat.'

"Death coach..."

'Do you think I need to eat less. Do you have a book you could recommend to tell me how?'

"If he didn't live each day like it was his last, he would have lived another 40 years."

Perfection

"You won’t need refills."

"I want you to learn from my mistakes."

Macho Vegetarian

"1972: Kim and Doug invited us to their key party... Sounds groovy! 2017: We just got an evite from Kim and Doug to join them on an ayahuasca retreat in Peru... Tommy starts hockey and my father is about to die—no way."

'Where exactly did you get this 'Lifestyle Guru' from?'

Does it spark joy?

"Right it's decided! We are both sober for October and Stoptober. Then Movember and Decembeard and Dry January, then..."

'I know you love her and want to protect her. But it's wrong to laminate her.'

Investment Guru/Lifestyle Guru/Tech Guru/Fashion Guru

'Cut back on the women and song. You can still have the wine though.'

"Stuffing your face while watching TV does cause obesity."

'Watch yourself.'

Wife asking husband what resolutions he is going to make for the new century

'I know dieting requires a change of lifestyle, Helen, but this is ridiculous!'

"Your results show you have the body of a young man, unfortunately it's an very obese young man with chronic health problems."

"Obesity is neither contagious or genetic, and yet, it is passed on, from parents to children."

No. 83 In A Series OF Extraordinary Unlikely Events.

"The long and the short of it, doctor, is that I'm ready to change from a soccer mom to a Nascar dad."

'That's way too irregular. I recommend regular exercise.'

'Too acidic? On the contrary, I find it well balanced.'

'I recently became a veggie.'