Relationship Improvement Gifts

"Look at you—folding the laundry two days before couples therapy."

'You forgave her for that last week. When you forgive and forget you're not allowed to forget you forgave.'

Dan and Irene's 'communication problems' improve, thanks to Richard, their couples therapist.

'I think both of you are always too busy: You don't talk anymore...'

"The marriage counselor didn't save our marriage. The plumber with the second bathroom saved our marriage."

"Instead of paying me compliments, he gives me I.O.U.'s!"

"So, how can you help us to become more attached to each other?"

"Well that's a load of baloney. I brought you here didn't I?"

'Well, the marriage guidance counsellor advised us to share each others interests, didn't she?'

'My marriage has improved since I don't wake up grouchy every morning. Now I let him sleep late.'

'His ego needs lipo suction!'

'But she just lays there, like... some sort of robot!'

'If Sharon and Abbas can actually move toward peace, we figured, why can't we?' - Couple visiting Marriage Counselor.

'I'm glad to see we're making progress.'

"Sometimes I think you take me for granted."

'We both like walking in the rain, and we both love a parade, but I just can't stand it when she rains on my parade.'

'There are signs of improvement but I wouldn't order Christmas cards with both your names on them.'

The interpreter

"I traded his corncob pipe and his button nose for a buttoned lip, and things couldn't be better."

"First, let me suggest separate bathrooms."

"He never takes me anywhere."

"Have you tried binge-watching a show together?"

"Your marriage would greatly improve if you were both more open with your emojis."

"I'd love to, but I can't today, Larry. I'm working on my marriage."

"Honey, would you cover your ears? I want to tell Dr. Kalen something."

"Together ideas for couples" "Slap a sandwich together" "Put two and two together" "Pull themselves together" "Rub two sticks together" "Try to hold it together" "String a phrase together"

"The kids love it, and it's saved my marriage."

"You do like octopus?"

'Great Therapy!'

She - Interpreter - He.

"I love it when we clear up issues between us."

"Our bond is stronger because we chose each other."

"Who knew we had so many dislikes in common?"

Now that we've invented language, let's talk about our relationship.

'We never go anywhere together except here.'