Relationship Repairs Gifts

'I can't talk to my wife - all she says is `Baaah! Baaah!`!

"Have you tried binge-watching a show together?"

'Come on, you can make it work! You're supposed to be Lovebirds after all...'

She - Interpreter - He.

You got what you deserve … you deserve each other.

"I traded his corncob pipe and his button nose for a buttoned lip, and things couldn't be better."

"I don't know who you are!"

"We've both made mistakes, Doug, but I consider the appetizers to be a thing of the past."

"Once again Tony and I are not on the same page. Things in our marriage are definitely not ‘great’."

"We have three house blends: 'One More Chance', 'Forget About It' or 'I'll See You In Fun Court'."

'Of course the physical side of your relationship's broken down, you've let yourself go!'

"Remember? I was sitting right up there when you came by and said 'Hi, beautiful!'"

"I love what you've done with him."

'His ego needs lipo suction!'

'Will I still be married?'

'Well, the marriage guidance counsellor advised us to share each others interests, didn't she?'

Couple beyond prayer - need divine intervention.

"Our online romance needs fresh start. I think it's time to hit 'ctrl', 'alt', 'delete'."

Dan and Irene's 'communication problems' improve, thanks to Richard, their couples therapist.

A man sews broken hearts back together.

'I think both of you are always too busy: You don't talk anymore...'

'I think it's time we got a new headboard.'

"He never takes me anywhere."

'There are signs of improvement but I wouldn't order Christmas cards with both your names on them.'

'He's sending 2,400 roses to win her back, and charging it to her credit card.'

Seeing the marriage counselor.

'The marriage counselor didn't save our marriage. The plumber and the second bathroom saved our marriage.'

'My wife doesn't understand me.'

"Well that's a load of baloney. I brought you here didn't I?"

"I'd like to get something for my wife. Do you have any olive branches?"

Your relationship can thrive again but you've got to work on it. You've got to experience your feelings and express them. Amanda Kern. Comics counseling. Sadie, when Mort says that President Obama symbolizes a new era of hope and cooperation, how does that make you feel? Nauseated, insulted, disgusted by Mort's Pollyannaish wimpyness. Good, now say it to Mort. Here? In front of you?

Bob tries to win her back with flowers.

"I'm not sure I'm ready to date again. I'm just coming off a bad mitosis."

"I may not be in for a while, Eddie. My wife and I have decided to normalize relations."

Man looks for wife help from machine.